


Her Heart Did Whisper

by katzaren



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Theatre, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Bisexual Female Character, Coming Out, Eva's POV, F/F, Lesbian Character, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Past Relationship(s), References to Depression, References to Jane Austen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-07 10:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 31,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20307637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katzaren/pseuds/katzaren
Summary: Eva, recently single and friendless, is delighted to discover her school’s spring production will be Pride and Prejudice. After receiving advice from a beautiful girl at a party, she decides to audition and lands the starring role. The cast and crew expect her to fall head over heels for the dreamy Even who plays Mr. Darcy, but Eva’s got her eye on the costume designer, Noora, who plays Darcy’s younger sister. Can she bring herself to take another chance on love and risk more heartbreak?Nooreva Theatre AU for Skam wlw Mini Bang 2019





	1. Invitation

**Author's Note:**

> This story is for the Skam wlw mini bang. It was supposed to be around 10k words, but as you can see, the story expanded quite a bit. Thanks so much to Julia (@setholiver on tumblr) for organizing this event and being understanding when I couldn't make the deadline.
> 
> This story takes place during Eva's second semester at Nissen. She hasn't met any of the Girl Squad yet.

Eva stood in front of the bulletin board, gaping at a beautiful flyer printed on bright pink paper. She’d noticed it because it had a captivating drawing of a lady in a ballgown on it. The words beneath the decorative floral divider warmed her heart.

_AUDITIONS!!_

_PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: A stage adaptation of the Regency novel by Jane Austen_

_Seeking students from the Hartvig Nissen School for acting roles and backstage work with the Nissen Theatre Department for their spring production. All roles available._

_Auditions will be held in the auditorium Wednesday, January 13, after school. Please come with a monologue prepared. _

Not only was the timing perfect, but the theme couldn’t have aligned with her interests more—her favorite classical author. She wanted to wear the beautiful costumes. To dance at the fancy balls. To be treated with manners and respect.

Most of all she needed a new set of friends—or at least a distraction.

“Quit staring. You’ll scare her away.”

Eva turned just in time to see an adorable girl smack a boy wearing glasses. They both tucked their hands behind their backs when they noticed she had seen.

“Are you two in the theatre group?” Eva asked, pointing to the flyer.

They eagerly nodded. “I’m Markus,” said the boy. His dirty blond hair was tied back in a ponytail, and he was wearing a funny hat. “I do the stage lighting.”

“And I’m Maria,” said the girl. She reached forward to shake Eva’s hand, her sleek brown hair falling across her shoulders. “I’m the stage manager.”

“Without her, the production falls apart,” Markus said, laughing.

“And without him, it’s a production for blind people.”

Eva laughed. “I guess you wouldn’t need costumes or fancy sets then.”

“No, just an awful lot of sound effects. Would definitely cut down on costs...” She rubbed her chin as if seriously considering it.

“So, are you thinking about auditioning?” Markus asked. “We could sure use some fresh faces this semester. Most of our regulars are busy preparing for Russ.”

Eva snorted. “Well, I’d much rather be acting than doing that.” Russ would require actual friends, which she no longer had thanks to her lying, cheating ex. “Not that I don’t like partying because I do,” she said, worried they’d think she was some boring girl who never left the house.

“Perfect!” Maria whipped an orange flyer out of seemingly nowhere. “We’re having a welcoming party for potential newbies to the theatre department on Friday. It’s a good way to meet the people you’ll be working with before auditioning.”

“And meet your competition,” Markus said ominously.

Maria smacked his arm again. “Don’t psych her out. We really want you to audition. I’ll send you the Facebook invite for the party. What’s your name?”

Eva couldn’t believe she’d forgotten to introduce herself. She’d need to work on that at the party. “Eva Kviig Mohn.”

Maria tapped on her phone. “There you are. All right, you’re on the list. Hope to see you there.”

Eva gave them a small wave as they walked away. They seemed like nice people to spend time with, but Eva didn’t get the impression they wanted to be her friend. Their priority was recruiting people to the theatre department. Which Eva had no problem with, seeing as how she was definitely going to audition.

…

At home Eva snacked on popcorn while watching a video on her laptop. She wasn’t in the mood to do homework yet. She’d probably regret that once midnight rolled around, but she just couldn’t be bothered right now. It was a good day if she managed not to cry in public.

Eva’s gaze was drawn to the cardboard box in the corner of the room. She’d tucked it behind the hamper, but it peeked out, a constant reminder of what she’d had, and what had been taken away from her. Eva didn’t want anything in that box, none of the belongings her ex had returned to her or the pictures of them together.

She moved the laptop to the other side of the bed and put her back to the box. Out of sight, out of mind. This side of her room was a mess of clothes, barely any floor space in sight. She hadn’t had the energy to clean lately.

Three weeks. That was how long had passed since she’d been dumped. It felt like an eternity.

A jarring melody rang out from the laptop. A video call request from Isak.

Eva sighed. She didn’t want to deal with him right now. They had been friends three weeks ago, but now it just felt weird. Wrong.

But he was the only person still talking to her. That had to count for something, right? Eva looked back and forth between accept and deny. At the last second, she clicked accept.

“Hi,” she said, mustering a cheerful smile.

Isak grinned at her. “Hey, Eva. What are you up to?”

“Cleaning my room,” Eva lied.

Isak raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Shaking her head, Eva let out a long sigh. “No. Just watching cute animal videos. Needed some cheering up. You know how it is.”

“Breakup blues, yeah. Sara dumped me by text. Can you believe her?”

Eva snorted. “That’s definitely her style. She doesn’t like dealing with confrontation. At least it was a short relationship though. Not even a year. You weren’t in love with her or anything, right?”

Isak stared at her a little too long, making Eva fear the worst, then he shrugged. “I think she was more into me than I was into her.”

“Really? Can’t relate.” Eva had always been the one more invested in a relationship. She wondered if she’d ever find someone who’d give her a decent amount of care and attention. She didn’t need a dramatic love story, wonderful as they were in books. That was just a fantasy.

Reality had a cruel way of lowering her expectations.

“Did you see Ingrid’s new Instagram post?” Isak asked. “She looks like she’s wearing colored contacts.”

Eva hesitated, not wanting to look at her, but curiosity won out. She pulled up Instagram on her phone and typed in Ingrid’s username. Her finger hovered for a moment over the “follow” button, but she managed to scroll down and tap on the newest pic.

“Oh my gosh you’re right.” Eva zoomed in on the pic. “Her eyes are definitely not that big or that blue.”

“She looks like an alien,” Isak said, laughing. “She’s trying way too hard.”

Eva chewed on her nails, then put her phone facedown. “I thought you liked Ingrid.”

“Not after what she did to you. I’m team Eva for life. Jonas is just being stupid.”

“Really? Because I feel like the stupid one.”

“You’re not. It’s not your fault she cheated on you and left you for Jonas. I’m pretty sure that’s in the dictionary under ‘betrayal.’ You have every right to be upset. I don’t get why everyone is treating you like the bad guy.”

“Because Ingrid is richer, more popular, and more beautiful than me.”

“Not more beautiful,” Isak said with a reassuring smile.

“Thanks,” Eva said, grateful to have someone in her corner. They couldn’t hang out the same way Eva could with the girls, but she liked their video chats and after school snacks. They’d only been hanging out a few months, ever since Isak started dating Sara, but it felt like they’d known each other for years.


	2. Welcoming Party

The clock read 7:00 PM. The party was starting now, but Isak still hadn’t arrived at Eva’s house. She’d begged him to come with her, and he’d agreed. But now she was beginning to think he just lied to get her to stop bugging him.

She called his phone. It rang once, then went straight to voicemail. She pulled the phone away from her ear, stunned. He was ignoring her.

Well, fine. She wouldn’t go.

Eva stormed back into her room and put on a zombie movie. This would be fun. A nice night in. Knowing Isak didn’t want to hang out with her. Knowing her very last friend had abandoned her.

Yeah, this was a great night. Who needs a party when you can watch zombies eat brains? Not as if people actually use their brains anyway.

Eva’s phone chimed.

_Isak: Sorry, forgot Ingrid got us tickets to a show. We’ll hang out another night, ok?_

She sighed in annoyance. It sure didn’t feel like Isak was Team Eva. He’d chosen free tickets from Ingrid. Money always won out in the end.

Just looking at Ingrid’s name made Eva’s heart ache. She was pretty sure literally being stabbed in the heart would hurt less than this. At least that pain wouldn’t drag on for weeks.

Facebook messenger dinged. She clicked on the message from Maria: _Hey girl when you getting here? We got cake and beer. Should be a blast!_

Her thumbs hovered over the keypad. Should she go? She wouldn’t know anyone there except for Maria and Markus, who she’d talked to a total of one time. But wasn’t the whole point of joining the theatre department to make new friends?

_I’m on my way_, she replied.

Eva checked her outfit in the mirror. Long-sleeved turtleneck, flowery skirt, tights. She looked like she imagined a theatre kid would. Hopefully it would be good enough.

…

The party was not the lowkey comfortable gathering she was expecting. A DJ blasted electronic music, the house lights were dim with colored spotlights circling the room, and people were dancing like sex-crazed animals.

Eva was sure she had the wrong place, but Maria ran up to her, pulling her into a hug.

“You came!” she yelled over the loud music.

The thick scent of alcohol on her breath made Eva lean in a little too close. “Where’s the beer?” she asked.

Maria put an arm around her shoulders and led her through the crowd to a large bucket of ice. Only a few beers remained.

Eva grabbed two of them, cradling them against her face. The cool condensation dripped onto her neck. She felt a little more at ease as she opened the first bottle and downed the whole thing.

She glanced around, not recognizing any other faces. Markus was nowhere to be seen, and Maria had slipped away while she’d been guzzling her beer.

Great. Abandoned in under two minutes.

Eva spotted an empty stool at the bar and made a beeline for it. She settled into the uncomfortable plastic cushion and placed her remaining beer on the counter. The crowd of strangers was overwhelming. Why had she thought this was a good idea?

Before she knew it, she had her phone in her hands and she was scrolling through her apps, trying to find something, anything to make her feel better.

Music. No, it would be too loud to hear. Sudoku. No, numbers would be difficult right now. She was tempted to download a game, but those were such a weak spot for her. She’d be playing it all week, staying up till odd hours.

She hit the home button and clicked on her ebook app. She didn’t think she’d actually be able to get any reading done, not with the blaring music and the people yelling, but at least she’d look like she was doing something.

_Sense and Sensibility_ popped up on the screen, the cover flashing for a moment before it came to the page where she left off.

“Great choice.”

Eva jumped and turned to a girl seated next to her. She had soft blond hair that brushed her jaw and wore a beautiful shade of burgundy lipstick.

“The people here could sure use some sense and sensibility,” she continued. “I think they’re taking the _pride _and _prejudice_ themes a little too seriously.”

Eva lifted an eyebrow. “Oh? I just got here. What’s been happening?”

“My evening started off great. A girl came up to me and said I had no chance of getting the roles of Elizabeth or Jane because her and her best friend were going to get them. Then a few guys decided it would be a good idea to light their farts on fire. Nearly burnt the place down.” She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “And then one guy told my friend Sana, who wears a hijab, that she must be the hottest girl here under all those layers.”

“Those are the kind of guys auditioning to play nineteenth-century gentleman?”

The girl laughed. “You haven’t been around a lot of theatre kids, have you?”

Eva shrugged her shoulders. “Guilty. I’m Eva by the way.”

“Noora.” The girl held out her hand, and they shook. Eva noticed a rainbow bracelet around her wrist. Interesting.

“So are you going to audition?” Eva asked. “I think you’d make a very good Elizabeth. You’re so elegant.” She could feel her cheeks warming, so she quickly took a swig of her beer.

“Thank you, but no. I’m not auditioning for any roles. I want to work on the costumes.”

Eva looked down at Noora’s outfit. A white sleeveless blousy shirt and high-waisted black pants, with flat gold-tipped black shoes. “You’d be good at that too.”

“Thank you,” Noora said, this time sounding a lot more genuine. “You’re the first person who hasn’t said ‘but you should be on stage since you’re so beautiful.’ As if that’s all a beautiful woman is good for.”

“It’s important to do what you like.”

“Exactly. So what about you? Acting or backstage?”

Eva rubbed her sleeve against the condensation on the beer bottle. “Acting, I think. If I can get a role. If not, I wouldn’t mind behind-the-scenes work. I’ve never done this before, so I’m not sure how it’ll go.”

“Have some confidence in yourself. You might discover you have natural talent. Just be mindful to project your voice and don’t try too hard to sound fancy. Period dramas like this often fall into the trap of being overacted and cartoonish.”

“Yeah, I feel like some of the older Austen movies are like that.”

“Definitely. I know it’s cliche, but my favorite one is the 2005 version of _Pride and Prejudice._ I have a major thing for Keira Knightley.”

Eva perked up, though she tried to suppress her reaction. It probably meant nothing. Lots of girls said that about their favorite actresses, but then again Noora was wearing that rainbow bracelet... “Yeah, she’s really talented.”

“And beautiful.” Noora’s smile was so bright and genuine, it caught Eva off guard. “I have a thing for brunettes.” With that she stood up. “See you at auditions.”

Eva stared after her, completely entranced. No, stop. She forced herself to look down at her lonely beer bottle. Noora was just flirting with her, wasn’t she?

No, that was ridiculous. They’d just met, and she didn’t know Eva was bi. Straight girls had “girl crushes” on celebrities all the time. It didn’t mean anything. Still, Eva’s interest was piqued. She’d have to keep an eye on Noora for more signs.


	3. Auditions and Casting

“And scene.” Eva smiled at the drama teacher and the two alumni who had come to help with auditions. “Thank you very much,” she said.

The drama teacher nodded to her, then wrote more notes on her paper. She’d been scribbling throughout Eva’s performance. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing Eva didn’t know.

Open auditions were yesterday, and today was the callbacks. The fact that Eva was called back was a good sign, but she still worried her audition wasn’t very good. She’d fumbled over the lines a little bit.

Eva walked towards the curtains by the side of the stage.

“Ingrid Theis Gaupseth,” the teacher called.

Eva stiffened. No. She’d come here to escape Ingrid. She couldn’t be here. But suddenly she was there, right in front of her.

“Why are you auditioning? You don’t even like theatre,” Ingrid said.

Eva’s throat felt tight. She couldn’t think of a single response. All the anger, the betrayal, and the sadness she’d felt the past few weeks warred within her, but in the end, she just kept walking. Besides, she didn’t think she could say anything to Ingrid without getting upset again.

Ingrid grabbed her arm. “Don’t ignore me.”

Eva tugged her arm away. She felt like she was going to throw up. “Leave me alone, Ingrid.”

She flinched. “It was just a question. Gosh. I’m not saying you should withdraw from the play or anything.”

But that was exactly what she was saying. Eva could see it in her eyes. She didn’t want Eva there. “Good luck with your audition. Break a leg as they say.” Preferably literally. She rushed out through the side door.

Footsteps sounded behind her, and she bolted through the backstage hallway. She pushed open the exit doors and sunlight flooded in.

“Eva, wait.”

She turned, surprised. That wasn’t Ingrid’s voice. “What are _you _doing here?”

Isak looked down at his feet, the shame clearly written on his face. “I’m sorry about Friday. I wasn’t going to go to the concert, but Jonas talked me into it. It wasn’t even that cool.”

Eva raised an eyebrow. “Who was playing?”

“Kindred Fever...”

Eva turned around to leave. _Wasn’t even that cool. _What a liar. She couldn’t believe she thought they could actually be friends. His best friend had stolen her girlfriend. She needed to get far away from him, from all of them.

Another thought occurred to her, and she whirled around. “Is Jonas auditioning too?” she asked, unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

Isak gave a half-shrug, which was answer enough. The theatre wasn’t the right place for her. She’d tell the drama teacher she didn’t want to do the play anymore. Tomorrow. She couldn’t bear to go back inside right now.

…

Eva waited outside the drama teacher’s office Friday morning. Twenty minutes had passed, and the door was still looked. She could see movement through the clouded glass, so she knew someone was in there.

She knocked on the door again. Still nothing.

Eva glanced back and forth down the hallway, debating about whether she should just head to class. If she was tardy again, her teacher would call her parents, and she really didn’t want them worrying about her. They still thought she was happily dating Ingrid.

The door creaked behind her. Eva turned around to see a tall boy poking his head out of the office. She recognized him from auditions. He was one of the alum students helping with the play.

“Ms. Larsen had to run to the library,” he explained. “The printers are down today. Did you want to leave a message for her?”

“Maybe. Or I don’t know, I could just come back at lunch.”

“What’s your name?”

“Eva.”

His face lit up. “Oh, right. I remember you from auditions.” He stepped out of the room and held out his hand. “I’m Eskild. I graduated from here a couple years ago, and I’ll be helping out with the play.”

Eva nodded, shaking his hand. She felt her cheeks warm. He seemed a little too excited to meet her. She wanted to tell him he was way too old for her—he must have been at least twenty—but she knew that would make things a hundred times more awkward.

“I’ll just come back later,” Eva said. “No need to leave a message. Nice to meet you.” She high-tailed it to class, making it into the room mere seconds before the bell rang.

All Eva could think about was getting out of the play. Maybe she could try out for a sports team instead. She wasn’t all that physical, but at least Ingrid would never go near it.

She just wanted something that was hers, something Ingrid couldn’t taint.

…

When Eva got to the theatre department during lunch, she found a crowd of students at the drama teacher’s door. What were they all waiting for?

Then she noticed the paper they were crowded around, and her heart sunk. The teacher had already posted the cast list.

Eva didn’t want to look, but she found herself wading through the crowd until she could see the pastel pink paper.

At first she didn’t see her name and felt an odd mix of relief and disappointment, but her eyes had gone straight to supporting roles. Her curiosity to see Ingrid’s role brought her eyes back to the top, with her name staring back at her.

_Nissen’s Pride and Prejudice Cast List_

Main Roles

_Elizabeth Bennet ……………………… Eva_

_Mr. Darcy ……………………………….. Even_

_Jane Bennet …………………………… Sonja_

_Mrs. Bennet ……………………………. Ingrid_

_Mr. Bennet……………………………… Magnus_

Supporting Roles

_Mr. Bingley ……………………………… Yousef_

_Caroline Bingley ……………………….. Sara_

_Charlotte Lucas ………………………… Vilde_

_Mr. Collins ………………………………. Kasper_

_Mr. Wickham ……………………………. Chris S._

_Lady Catherine de Bourgh …………… Sana_

_Lydia Bennet …………………………. Iben_

_Kitty Bennet ………………………….. Astrid_

_Mary Bennet …………………………. Jamila _

_Lady Lucas …………………………… Mari_

_Sir William Lucas ……………………… Jonas_

_Captain Denney ………………………. Mikael_

_Georgiana Darcy …………………….. Noora_

_Colonel Fitzwilliam …………………… Isak_

_Anne de Bourgh ……………………… Chris B._

Eva blinked at the list, certain there must be a mistake. She couldn’t have the lead role. And Ingrid was cast as her mother? That definitely didn’t make sense. Ingrid should have been Elizabeth or Jane at the very least. She was the one who had acting experience, not Eva.

A long sigh sounded beside her. It was Noora, from the party. “I told the teacher I didn’t want an acting part,” she muttered under her breath.

“What part did you get?” Eva asked.

Noora pointed to the bottom of the list. _Georgiana Darcy._

“That’s a small role at least. You’d only have a few lines.”

Noora nodded. “That’s true. Yeah, I might do it after all. I’m still in charge of costumes like I wanted.” She pointed to the crew list beside it. Eva hadn’t even noticed it.

She looked back at the casting list to find Jonas and Isak. Jonas was Sir William Lucas, Charlotte Lucas’s father. Probably only one or two scenes, with a nice outfit for the first ball.

Isak was Colonel Fitzwilliam, Mr. Darcy’s cousin. Another small role, but with vital lines to Elizabeth about how Darcy screwed up Bingley and Jane’s relationship.

“Congratulations on landing Elizabeth,” Noora said. “You’ll be phenomenal in the role. I saw your audition. I knew they had to pick you.”

Eva smiled nervously. “It wasn’t that good. I tripped over some of my lines.”

“That made it more authentic. I honestly thought you did that on purpose. No worries. You’ll get the hang of it, and if you need a practice partner, I’d be happy to help.”

Butterflies danced in Eva’s stomach at the thought of one-on-one time with Noora. It was a bad idea to let this crush develop any further. She should say no and keep her distance, but she really did need to make friends. Not to mention it was definitely too late to back out of the play after she’d been cast as the lead. If she was going to get through this, she needed someone nice by her side.

Noora was perfect. Now if only she could figure out how to turn off her feelings...


	4. The Journey Begins

Eva shoved her books into her locker. Someone bumped her from behind, and she grabbed the locker door to steady herself. She glanced around at the chaos, people running this way and that, laughing and talking with their friends.

Today was their first rehearsal, and Eva was freaking out. She’d have to avoid Ingrid, Jonas, and Isak and somehow make friends with the other cast members.

At least Noora would be there, and Eva would finally get to meet the boy playing Mr. Darcy. She’d seen him around school before, and he was definitely worthy of the Darcy name.

“Eva, what are you doing just standing there?”

She shut her locker door and turned to see Maria. Her arms were stacked with a couple dozen notebooks.

“Rehearsal doesn’t start for half an hour,” Eva said.

Maria rolled her eyes. “That’s when we start, yeah, but you should always get there early. You’re the star of the show. Come on.”

“Can I help you with those?” Eva asked.

“Yeah, sure.” Maria held the stack out to Eva. “Just grab some from the top.”

Eva grabbed about half of them. On the cover of the top one she saw shiny gold letters. _Pride and Prejudice: The Screenplay. _The notebooks seemed to buzz against her skin. The scripts. Soon she’d be memorizing lines. Gosh, this was all really happening.

“Well, let’s get going,” Maria said.

People moved out of the way for Maria. She was short and stout but had such a commanding presence. Everyone could tell she was a girl on a mission. Eva followed behind her and still managed to be jostled by the people going around Maria. Way to make her feel invisible…

When they got to the auditorium, Maria pushed the door open with her hip and nodded for Eva to go in first. Eva scurried through the doorway. There was another set of doors to the audience area, but Maria headed for the hallway.

“Where are we taking the scripts?” Eva asked, rushing to keep up with Maria in the narrow hallway.

“One of the dressing rooms. We reach the backstage area through this door.” She balanced the scripts on her knee while she turned the knob. Eva hurried through, then followed her to a room labeled _Dressing Room 1. _There was a cardboard box on the counter beneath a row of mirrors. They placed the scripts into the box.

Maria stood back, hands on hips, looking proud. “Well, that’s set for now. Let’s get to the stage. Thanks for your help.”

“No problem,” Eva said. Honestly she was relieved to have someone to walk into rehearsal with. She’d been worrying about walking in there alone.

The stage was already filled with most of the cast and crew. Everyone else seemed to know to get there early. Some were already doing acting exercises, which included some odd vocal patterns, mirroring each other’s expressions, and literally exercising. Others just sat in circles talking with their friends.

Maria headed over to Markus and another guy and gave them both high fives. Eva glanced over to see Noora sitting with three girls Eva didn’t know. She felt too nervous to approach the group so she just followed Maria.

“Hey, Eva!” Markus held up his hand.

Eva gave him a hesitant high five.

“You’re our Elizabeth, right?” said the other guy. He held out his hand. “I’m Julian. I’m the sound board operator.”

Eva shook his hand. She had no idea what a sound board was, but she smiled like she knew. “Hi.”

Maria started talking excitedly about some lighting and sound ideas she had. Eva didn’t understand the theatre jargon. She stood in a circle with them, back to the curtain, and glanced around at the other groups.

Ingrid and Jonas sat with all their friends. Ingrid’s friend Laura was twirling her hair and smiling at Isak as he talked.

Eva half-wished she could hear what he was saying. He seemed pretty enthusiastic about the topic, and Laura was absolutely enthralled by his words. Or maybe she just liked him.

Her beloved Mr. Darcy, aka Even Bech Næsheim, was doing an acting exercise with a group of boys she recognized from the Muslim Student Association. They had their hands together as if in prayer but were pointing their hands at one another in fast succession while making sound effects.

Eskild, the alum she’d run into yesterday morning, was busy demonstrating some sort of exercise pose to a group of eager students.

Her eyes finally settled on Noora and her friends. She was laughing at something the other blond girl was saying. Eva couldn’t help but stare at Noora’s red-painted lips. She was so beautiful and had such a cool style. Was it silly that Eva wanted to be her friend? She barely knew anything about her, but she just had this energy that made Eva want to learn more.

She glanced back at the people she was standing with. They’d been speaking for minutes, and she hadn’t contributed a word. Not that she could follow their conversation anyways. Still, she felt awkward just standing there and pretending to listen, but she felt weird about approaching Noora and her friends.

Noora had been so nice to her at the party, but that didn’t mean she’d be nice to her now. She could just imagine her walking up and saying hi and the girls just looking at her like she was crazy.

She was pretty sure Noora wouldn’t do that, but from what she had heard about theatre kids, she worried Noora’s friends would resent her for getting the lead role.

A hand tapped her shoulder. Eva whirled around to find Noora’s blond friend smiling at her.

“Hi, you’re Eva, right?”

“Y—yeah.” Eva cleared her throat, mustering a smile. “Yes, that’s me.”

“I’m Vilde. I play your best friend, Charlotte Lucas. I’d really love to get to know you better since we’ll be working on so many scenes together.”

Eva’s heart raced. That joyful smile, those sincere eyes. She seemed sweet and genuine and it almost seemed like she was flirting with her. Almost. “Yeah, sure.”

“Great! Come meet my friends.” Vilde grabbed her hand and dragged her over to the group. “Girls, this is Eva, our wonderful Elizabeth.”

She went around the circle introducing them. First her best friend Chris. They’d known each other since they were kids. Then Sana, a stoic girl wearing a hijab and all black. Quite the opposite of sunshine girl. And then finally Noora.

“We’ve met,” Noora said, smiling.

“Are you all first years?” Eva asked.

“Yep,” Vilde said. “I’ve been waiting all year for the spring production. I was in _Beauty and the Beast _last semester.”

“Oh, yeah. That’s really cool. Who did you play?”

Chris stifled a laugh. “She was a spoon.”

Vilde’s cheeks turned bright red. Could she be any more adorable? “I got to sing and dance in ‘Be Our Guest,’ which is the biggest musical number in it. And I was the understudy for Plumette, the feather duster. You know, Lumiere’s love interest. Penetrator Chris played Lumiere, so I got to do the scene with him during a few rehearsals.”

“Wait, did I hear that right? Penetrator Chris?”

“Yes, can you believe it?” Vilde jumped up and down excitedly. “There was one scene where he swung me around, and his hands were on my waist. My waist!”

“No, I mean, why is he called Penetrator Chris?”

“Oh, because he’s part of the Penetrators. You know the Russ group with the most popular boys in school. We usually specify Penetrator Chris so we don’t get confused about which Chris we’re talking about.” She gestured at her best friend.

“Oh, that makes sense.” It really didn’t.

“Right? And oh my gosh, I just realized, he’s playing Mr. Wickham. That means you’ll get some scenes with him. Get your flirt on, girl.”

“Sorry, I’m not looking for a relationship right now,” Eva said. “I just got out of a really bad one.” She couldn’t help but glance at Ingrid.

“The best way to get over somebody is to focus on someone new,” Vilde said, sounding as if she actually knew what she was talking about, which she clearly didn’t.

“Doesn’t Penetrator Chris have a girlfriend?” Noora asked.

“Well, yeah,” Vilde said, “but he’s not in love her or anything, you know? I’m sure he’d leave her for you, Eva. You’re, like, way prettier than her.”

“Seeing as my ex cheated on me, I don’t really want to be with someone who’d cheat on their girlfriend,” Eva snapped. Her heart was racing, and she instantly felt embarrassed. She ran a hand through her hair. “Sorry, I’m just still sensitive about that.”

Vilde glanced over at Ingrid’s group. Her jaw dropped. “Oh my God, I get it.”

Eva’s throat felt dry. How had Vilde figured it out so fast? Her relationship with Ingrid was supposed to be a secret. Aside from their parents, only their mutual friends knew. And Vilde definitely wasn’t one of Ingrid’s friends.

“Get what?” Chris asked.

Vilde’s eyes were bright. Eva felt like she might throw up. She wasn’t ready for them all to know. Not like this anyways.

“Look, it’s not important,” Eva said quickly, hoping that would shut up Vilde. It didn’t.

“Ingrid and Jonas started dating recently. So that means Jonas cheated on you with her and then left you for her.” Vilde smiled, looking so pleased with herself.

Eva didn’t know whether to be annoyed or relieved. All she could do was laugh nervously. “I don’t want to talk about evil exes, if that’s okay. Let’s talk about you all. Any of you dating anyone?” Her eyes went to Noora first, but she quickly forced her gaze away.

“Sadly no,” Vilde said, sighing. “Chris has hooked up with a few guys though. And Noora may or may not have a secret girlfriend.”

“May or may not?” Eva asked, her heart racing. Was it just a joke or did Noora really like girls?

Noora smiled coyly. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

“Either she’s got some closeted girlfriend or she’s just messing with us,” Vilde said, shrugging. “Lesbians are so secretive.” She nudged Noora’s shoulder playfully.

Noora looked so comfortable. It seemed like she was already out of the closet about her sexuality. She wore that rainbow bracelet every day. Eva had gotten that vibe from her, but she never liked to assume. Usually because she was almost always wrong. Too many straight girls liked rainbows, flannel shirts, and short haircuts.

So Noora was confirmed gay. That was good news, but the secret girlfriend thing made Eva feel a little sad. She definitely shouldn’t be rushing into a relationship, but she couldn’t help but like Noora.

“Are you homophobic?” Vilde asked out of the blue.

Eva felt like she’d been slapped in the face. “What, no. I’m fine with gay people.”

“Good,” Vilde said. “You had me worried there for a second. You were so quiet.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it.” Eva had too many thoughts in her head sometimes, and she’d spent so much time alone lately. She wasn’t used to interacting as much. Also, she had no idea how to say, “I support you,” without it sounding super awkward. She’d need to work on that. Sometimes saying something awkward was better than not saying anything at all. Silence could so easily be misread.

“It’s okay,” Noora said, though Eva knew it really wasn’t. She remembered how that silence felt, and she hated that she’d made Noora feel unwelcome for even a second.

“What about you, Sana?” Eva asked. “Are you dating anyone?”

Sana opened her mouth to answer, but Vilde cut her off. “She’s not allowed to date.”

“Excuse me,” Sana said.

“Well, you know, your religion forbids it.”

“Yeah, if I date a guy, I’ll be stoned to death,” Sana said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“See,” Vilde said, the sarcasm going right over her head. “Anyways, that’s a big reason me and Chris wanted to do the play. I mean, look around. So many cute guys, right?”

Eva nodded. Vilde was right, but that wasn’t why Eva was here. Getting a new boyfriend or girlfriend wasn’t high on her list of priorities, even if Noora was hard to stop thinking about.

Just then Ms. Larsen arrived and asked everyone to gather in a circle around the stage. Eva took her spot at the end of the group of girls, next to Noora. A girl with short blond hair stood to her left. The teacher instructed them to hold hands with the person on either side of them.

Eva felt nervous as she took Noora’s hand. A blush warmed her cheeks, so she tried hard to keep her attention focused on the teacher and hoped no one was staring at her. All she could think about was Noora’s soft hand, how good it felt.

A sharp pain formed in her opposite hand. She looked over to see the short-haired girl was digging her fingernails into Eva’s palm.

“I should be Elizabeth,” she said softly so only Eva could hear. The softness made her voice come across more vicious. “I was Belle last semester. Because of you I’m acting as Yousef’s love interest. He was Gaston.” She wrinkled her nose.

“Is this about Even?” Eva asked. She figured that if this girl wanted to play Elizabeth, she wanted to play Even’s love interest. And if she was Belle last semester, that meant he had most likely played the beast.

“He’s mine. I always get to play his love interest. Whether I get to play Elizabeth or not, Jane Bennet might just steal him away.”

Eva felt the color drain from her face. Her mind went back to the cast list. Jane was played by someone named Sonja.

Oh, no. This mean girl was Sonja, and she’d be playing her sister. Would she be able to act friendly with her? How on earth did this stuck up diva get cast as the nicest character in the play?

Ms. Larsen told them to stop holding hands. Eva eagerly let go and rubbed her palm. There were red marks where Sonja’s nails had been. At least she wasn’t bleeding.

Eva would have to be careful around this girl. She was dangerous and she definitely had it out for her.


	5. Dedication

The cast received their scripts and were given some time to highlight their lines. Afterwards, Ms. Larsen had them sit in a circle and do a read through of the first act of the play. They would do acts two and three tomorrow, and they had three weeks before they were expected to be off book.

After the read through, they did acting exercises to get to know one another and worked on scenes with partners.

Eva sat with Noora’s friends again. She was excitedly to find out she had scenes with all of them. Of course she’d known she would have scenes with Vilde since she was playing Charlotte Lucas, and she knew there would be at least a scene or two with Noora. Though those would be shared with Darcy as well since she played his sister.

Sana played Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and Chris played her daughter. Sana had some of the best lines in the play, and from the few scenes they ran together, she could tell Sana would be fantastic in the role.

And then they were free to go. She’d managed to make new friends and avoid Ingrid and her gang. Sonja was sending her evil glares all afternoon, but at least she hadn’t confronted her again. Eva hadn’t even spoken a word to dear Mr. Darcy, except for the few lines they exchanged during the Act One read through.

“Eva, wait up.” Eskild was heading towards her.

She was tempted to run. He’d probably try flirting with her again, and she really wasn’t in the mood. Maybe she could make a polite excuse. She has to get home to clean her cat. Wait, no, that wasn’t right. She didn’t even have a cat.

“Hey, can we talk for a moment?” He pointed to a dressing room. The others were filing down the hallway to the exit door.

Red flags were going off in Eva’s brain. She didn’t want to be alone with this guy. He was at least four years older than her, and he seemed way too keen to get to know her.

She walked to the wall next to the dressing room. Crossing her arms and leaning against the wall, she made it clear they could talk in the hallway or not at all.

He didn’t seem fazed by it. He stood next to her and leaned in, lowering his voice. “So, I’m having a party at my flat. Friday night. Super exclusive. I’m only inviting a few people from the cast, and I want you to be there.”

“Who else are you inviting?” Eva asked. She didn’t want to be around a bunch of older guys, and she didn’t feel comfortable going to a party if Ingrid or Jonas would be there.

“Linn and Noora, of course. Markus. Maria. Julian. Even. Mari.”

“Not Sonja?”

“Oh, no, she’s a total bitch.”

Eva snorted. “You got that right.”

“Oh my God, she said something to you, didn’t she? Was it something like ‘don’t steal my man, you homewrecker?’” He snapped his fingers.

“Pretty much. She’s got it bad for Even, huh?”

Eskild leaned against the wall, sighing. “Who wouldn’t? He’s gorgeous. I could stare into those eyes for days.”

It suddenly dawned on Eva that Eskild might not be interested in girls. Maybe he hadn’t been flirting with her after all.

He noticed her confusion. “Oh, honey. It’s the theatre department. Gotta get used to gay people.”

“It’s not that,” Eva said hurriedly. Why did she always come across as homophobic? Was it the long hair? People just assumed she was straight and wouldn’t be okay with them. Or maybe it was just that he misread her surprised face.

“I’m used to gay people,” Eva continued. “I’m not, like, homophobic or anything, don’t worry. I just thought you might be flirting with me because you were so eager, but I see that’s just your personality. Sorry, I’m incredibly awkward. I don’t know why you want me at your party.”

Eskild laughed, but not in a mean way. “It’s okay. Don’t worry. It takes a lot to offend me. Also, you’re not as awkward as you think, so don’t sell yourself short. I think acting in this play will be good for you. Acting really helped me come out of my shell and stop second-guessing everything I said.”

“Yeah, it’s a bad habit,” Eva admitted.

“But a breakable one. It’s going to be okay, Eva, really. Come to my party. I’ll introduce you to some cool people and it’ll be really fun.”

Eva nodded. “Yeah, I’ll come.” His encouragement had cheered her up and given her hope. Maybe auditioning for the play was a good idea after all.

…

The second day of the read through went better than the first. They got through Act II fairly quickly, and Ms. Larsen gave them a fifteen-minute break.

Eva filed out of the theatre with Noora and Vilde. Everyone was headed to the courtyard to get some fresh air. Several people already had their cellphones out, texting as they walked. A few of the guys had kick balls tucked under their arms.

The chill wintry wind hit them as they stepped outside.

Eva shivered, realizing she’d forgotten her coat in the theatre. “I’ll be right back,” she told the others. “Don’t want to freeze to death.”

She ran back to the theatre, trying to be quick about it. If she remembered correctly, she’d left her coat on a chair at the side of the stage. She arrived at the stage, relieved to find it was still where she left it.

As she picked it up from the chair, she heard someone talking. She stopped just behind the curtain to peer at the person standing on the stage.

It was Even.

She listened carefully and realized he was running through a Scene in Act III. Not that she’d read that far into the script, but she knew the book pretty well. Walking onto the stage, she glanced around for Ms. Larsen or one of the alums, but Even was the only one there.

“Dedicated, aren’t you?” she said.

His face lit up. “I love acting, everything about the theatre, really. I’d love to do this for a living. Oh, and I want to write plays.”

“What kind of plays?” Eva was standing a few feet away from him now, and he was even better looking up close. She was stunned by how tall he was.

“I don’t know. Just about life and stuff. Or maybe escapist stories with characters exploring new worlds. I like musicals too, but I don’t know how I’d do at composing.”

“What’s your favorite play, or musical, that you’ve been in?” Eva asked curiously.

“Probably _Into the Woods_.” His face didn’t light up like before. He looked a little sad, nostalgic. He must miss working on that play.

“How do you like _Pride and Prejudice_?”

His smile reappeared. “I love it. I’ve watched all the movies and TV show adaptations.”

“All of them?”

“Every one I could get my hands on. I even watched the _Lizzie Bennet Diaries _on YouTube.”

“Recently?”

“As soon as Ms. Larsen announced the play.”

Now _that _was dedication. Eva couldn’t help but feel impressed. It was no wonder he kept getting the starring roles. He was such a professional. She wondered if he was a method actor. Did he walk around his house speaking like Darcy and bowing to his cats?

“Which is your favorite?” Eva asked.

“My favorite was definitely the 1995 BBC version. Colin Firth is hands down the best Darcy. What about yours?”

“That one too, but I’m also a big fan of the Keira Knightley version. She was my favorite Elizabeth.”

“The cinematography was incredible. The film was nominated for four Academy Award categories, and the director won several awards. You know that was his first feature film. Isn’t that awe-inspiring?”

“Yeah, totally.”

“I’m really excited to work with you, Eva,” he said, startling her.

“Me? But I’m brand new.”

Even laughed. “Exactly. I’ve been working with the same people over and over. It’s nice to have some fresh blood.”

“I don’t know why Ms. Larsen even picked me. How often does someone with no experience get the lead role?”

“I’ll admit, not very often. But I saw your audition, Eva, and you were amazing. I can see why she picked you.”

Eva felt the blush spreading across her face. “I, uh, came to get my jacket.” She held up the coat. “I’ll catch you later.” With that, she fled.

Needless to say, Eva did not take compliments well.

…

When Eva got back to her friends, she told them how nice Even was. Vilde and Chris chattered about his good looks. They’d acted in _Beauty and the Beast_ with him last semester and praised his acting ability.

Eva was so excited to work with him. It was a relief to have a costar who didn’t hate her, and she could see why Sonja wanted to date him. He was pretty much perfect.

The break ended only too quickly, and they returned to the stage to read through Act III. Eva paid more attention to Even; she could already tell he would be great for the role. He spoke the lines as if he’d spent weeks memorizing them and was very good about making eye contact during their scenes.

About halfway through Act III, she realized he hadn’t looked at his script once.

After rehearsal, Eva lingered to pack up her bag. She was having a hard time shoving her binder in with all her books. By the time she accomplished it, most of the students had left.

She sighed with relief and pulled on her knitted hat to face the cold.

Isak stopped in front of her. “Eva, I’m sorry about Ingrid and Jonas. I should have warned you they were auditioning too. You just seemed so excited about the play, and I didn’t want you to avoid it because of them.”

“I’ve got to go,” Eva said, sidling past him.

“Eva, please.”

She whirled around. “You want to talk to me during rehearsal, fine. But sneaking around after they’ve left to talk to me? That’s pathetic. Don’t bother talking to me if you don’t want to be seen with me.”

She was so sick of this. Ingrid had turned all her old friends against her, except for Isak. But he’d still chosen Ingrid over her. He was spending all his time around her group, and Eva couldn’t trust that he was sincere anymore.

Besides, she had some new friends now. She didn’t need Isak.


	6. Eskild's Party

“You came!” Eskild exclaimed the moment he saw Eva. He pulled her into a tight hug, then let go suddenly. “Oh, wait, I forgot to ask. Are you a hug person?”

“Yeah, hugs are fine,” she assured him.

He sighed, putting a hand to his heart. “Good. Last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable. Again.”

“No worries. You’re good.” She looked around the flat. The walls were covered in album record cases, music played from a legit record player, and life-size cutouts of old rock stars and singers decorated the room. David Bowie. Freddie Mercury. Joan Jett. Elton John. And Madonna.

“Like it?” Eskild asked.

“Yeah, this party is really something.” Her eyes lingered for a moment on the cutout of Joan Jett. It was taken from a picture when she was younger, closer to their age. She was absolutely stunning.

“Thanks, I designed it myself. Though Noora did most of the actual decorating, and she made the fabulous food you’ll find on the snack table.”

“How do you know Noora?”

Eskild laughed. “She lives here. What? She didn’t tell you we were flatmates? Linn lives here too, but I couldn’t pay her to decorate.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t seem like the decorating type.”

“Not even a little. So, how’s the acting going? I saw your scene with Mr. Collins. That was fantastic. But I heard your scenes with Mrs. Bennet and Jane have been a little rough.”

Eva scuffed her foot against the floor. “I don’t get along with either of the actors, so it’s been tough to get the emotions right during the scenes.”

Eskild nodded. “I know what that’s like. Two years ago we did _Into the Woods_. I played Prince Charming. After opening night we had this big party, and long story short, I slept with another cast member. Which would have been fine, but he got really weird after we had sex, so our duet never really sounded as good as it did the first night.”

He’d been careful not to name names, but Eva had seen the movie last spring when it came out in theatres. It had been on one of her date nights with Ingrid, but that was irrelevant...

What she did remember from the movie was that Prince Charming only had one duet with another male character. And that was “Agony” with Rapunzel’s prince. She could easily find out who it was if she asked around, but she wouldn’t go digging for it. She wanted to respect his privacy. Besides, it was probably someone she didn’t know, someone who graduated that year with Eskild.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Noora rushing over to her. “Eva, you made it.” She was wearing high-waisted black pants and a striped white-and-black shirt. Very striking with her signature red lipstick.

“I love your place,” Eva said.

“Thanks, we did our best. Come, let’s dance.” She grabbed Eva’s hand and led her to the dance floor.

“Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen was playing. The perfect music for dancing and having a good time with a friend. Noora was a great dancer, so agile. The way she moved had Eva totally entranced. She needed to look away before Noora caught her staring...

Noora’s phone rang, and she looked at the screen. “Sorry, I have to get this.”

“Don’t leave me,” Eva said with mock drama, though she really didn’t want to be left alone on the dance floor.

“I’ll just be a few minutes.” Noora answered the phone and walked out of the room.

Eva danced a little by herself, but it felt so awkward. Maybe she could find some alcohol. That would make the night at least a little better.

“Hey, Eva, right?” Penetrator Chris. She didn’t remember him being on the guest list.

On Thursday, she’d worked on a scene with him, and at first it went fine. He was charming and attractive, but he kept inching towards her until he was too close for comfort. Noora agreed he was a bit of a creep. He’d been staring down Eva’s shirt half the time. So much so that he kept missing his lines.

Of course Vilde had defended him because he was cute and popular, insisting that he was looking at Eva’s mouth instead. That didn’t make it much better though. He had a girlfriend. He shouldn’t be ogling other girls’ mouths.

Eva searched the room for an escape, but she didn’t see anyone else she knew. “Yeah, that’s my name.”

“You know, your character is, like, in love with mine.” He was slurring his words slightly, more than a little drunk. He leaned close to her, his breath horrendous. “Want to practice again for our scenes?”

Eva took a step back, but Chris put an arm around her waist and pulled her in. “Come on, theatre newbie. I’ll teach you how to be successful in the drama department.”

“Eskild is looking for me. I need to talk to him.”

“Talk to me instead.”

Eva pushed at his chest, but he wouldn’t budge.

“Hey, asshole.” Noora shoved herself between them. “Get off her. You weren’t even invited to this party.”

“Sure I was,” he said. “I invited myself.”

“That’s literally the definition of crashing a party.”

Chris took a step closer to Noora. “You, my dear, are lovely.” He ran a hand down the side of her face.

Noora stepped out of his reach. “Don’t touch me.” She looked at his hand like it was poison.

“What’s wrong with you? Don’t you want a taste of this?” He gestured to himself, as if he genuinely thought of himself as The Shit™.

“You should have been cast as Mr. Collins,” Noora said. “Your attempts at flirting are just sad.”

“My flirting always works,” Chris said confidently. “Unless of course, you’re a lesbian.”

Noora jutted out her chin. “So what if I am?”

Chris took a step back, looking at Noora, then at Eva. She worried he would think they were together and start spreading vicious rumors.

“I’ve never had sex with a lesbian,” he said at last. “But it’s on my list.” Smirking, he winked at her, then turned and walked away.

Eva watched him until he’d left the room. What a douchebag.

“Are you okay?” Noora asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for stepping in.” She smiled at her, genuinely grateful. She’d been so scared.

“No problem. I could tell you were really uncomfortable. Anyways, I’ve got to find Eskild. He needed some help with something.”

“That’s okay,” Eva said. “I think I’m going to head home anyways.”

Noora gripped her wrist. “Call a cab. Don’t walk home. You don’t know what a drunk Chris could be capable of.”

“Sound advice.”

“And text me when you get home, okay? I want to know you’re safe.”

Eva laughed. “Thanks, Mom. Will do.”

…

_Eva: I’m home now. Thanks again for tonight_.

Eva stared at the message she’d sent Noora on the bright screen. She’d already brushed her teeth and changed into her pajamas. The comfort of her bed had been calling to her.

She pulled the covers tightly around herself and turned onto her side. It was already midnight, but Noora hadn’t responded. Eva clicked off the screen and let her thoughts return to the party. She’d actually danced with Noora. She imagined what it would be like to date her. The idea of it made Eva’s heart race.

But she was also worried. It was too soon after Ingrid. She didn’t think she could trust Noora in that way. Not yet anyways. Besides, what Eva really needed right now was a friend, someone she could count on, someone who wouldn’t cheat on her and leave her for someone else.

Someone who wouldn’t break her heart.

But she was getting ahead of herself. She wasn’t in love. They’d only known each other a week. Two lady-loving girls could be friends without it turning into a relationship. Besides, Noora probably wouldn’t like her anyways.

Her phone chimed.

_Noora: Glad you’re safe. Sweet dreams._


	7. Penetrator Chris

Eva was still thinking about Noora’s text Monday morning. _Sweet dreams. _It was a pretty generic line, but coming from Noora it felt so special. She’d had sweet dreams all weekend, and now she just wanted to see her friend again.

It was too early to go to class, so Eva sat down at one of the outdoor tables in the courtyard and listened to the _Pride and Prejudice _soundtrack on her phone. The beautiful piano music relaxed her, and she ran through a few of her favorite scenes in her head.

She still had a lot of lines to memorize. It had only been a week since rehearsals started, but Ms. Larsen seemed impressed with her acting so far.

“What are you listening to?” Noora asked, sitting down across from her.

Eva held out one of the earbuds to her.

Noora smiled the moment she pressed it to her ear. “Good choice. I’ve got the soundtrack on my phone too.”

They listened for a few minutes before Noora passed the earbud back to her. “Hey, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Yeah?”

“I was thinking about going fabric shopping after school on Wednesday. Would you want to come?” Rehearsals were only on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, so it wouldn’t conflict with the play.

“Sure. Are the others coming?”

“Oh, no. Vilde and Chris are busy. And Sana is not the biggest fan of shopping.”

Eva laughed. “No surprise there. Yeah, I’ll go with you. It sounds fun, and I do know a lot about Regency-era clothing. Maybe I could be somewhat useful.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” Noora said. “Excellent. Our budget is kind of ridiculous, but I think we can make it work.”

Eva tried to suppress her delight. She hadn’t had Noora to herself before when they weren’t surrounded by partygoers. A whole afternoon with her sounded nice.

Noora opened her bag and pulled out a spiral-bound notebook. “Here, I wanted to show you the ideas I have so far.”

The designs in the sketchbook were so detailed. Eva could just imagine wearing the fancy ballgowns and long dresses.

She flipped to a drawing Eva recognized. “You drew the art for the audition flyer?”

“Guilty,” Noora said. “Ms. Larsen said she wanted to spice it up a little. It wasn’t eye-catching enough.”

“Well, it worked. I thought the drawing was beautiful. That’s why I looked at the flyer.”

Noora beamed. “I’m pleased to hear my drawing worked. We did get a much bigger turnout this semester for auditions than last semester.”

“You auditioned last semester?” Eva asked. “For _Beauty and the Beast?_”

Noora nodded.

“Who did you play?”

“I was Belle’s understudy. It was a lot of work, and I actually had to play Belle in the final performance. Sonja caught the flu.”

Eva couldn’t help but feel pleasure at hearing that. Served her right. “I bet that was the best performance.”

Noora shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “I enjoyed acting, but I didn’t like the attention I got afterwards. There was one guy who became obsessed with me, and it was this whole mess.”

“Oh, so that’s why you didn’t want a role this time?”

“Yeah, I just don’t think I could deal with that again. Besides, I’m much more interested in designing costumes. That’s what I want to do as a career. Acting was just for fun.”

Eva shifted in her seat. She’d already gotten a taste of that with Penetrator Chris. Would it get worse once the play opened?

…

Ms. Larsen arrived early to rehearsal. She normally didn’t show up until right at four. She called them to attention so she could make an announcement.

“I’ve been informed that something happened over the weekend,” Ms. Larsen said. “Some unacceptable behavior at a party.”

Eva glanced over at Noora, worried Penetrator Chris had complained about them. They locked eyes for a moment, then looked back at Ms. Larsen.

“Chris Schistad, I’m sorry but you’ve been warned before. I’m going to ask you to drop out of the play.”

Eva gasped, along with several other people.

Chris threw down his script. “You’re kidding me. I’m the best actor here. People only come to these dumb plays because I’m in them. You can’t fire me.”

Ms. Larsen’s voice was calm but icy. “I’m not going to ask you again. If you don’t leave, I can report your actions to the administration and then you’ll have a lot more to worry about.”

“This isn’t fair. She’s the one who was rude to me.” He pointed at Noora. “She’s just trying to get me out of the way so—”

“She isn’t the one who reported you. Get out, Mr. Schistad.”

He kicked his script across the stage. “Fine, I don’t want to be in this stupid play anyway.” He stormed out of the room. The rest of the cast and crew were frozen in shock.

Ms. Larsen continued like nothing had happened. “Now I’m going to ask Isak Valtersen to take Chris’s place as Mr. Wickham.”

“Me?” Isak said, sounding dumbfounded. “But I’m brand new. I only have one scene.”

“Yes, and you’ve done such a phenomenal job that I’m giving you more lines. As Eva has proven, you don’t need experience to play a part. Now, Markus, would you step up to play Colonel Fitzwilliam?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Even, would you help Isak run his new lines? Excellent, now that’s settled we can get to rehearsing.”

Eva was so relieved that she wouldn’t have to act with Chris anymore, but she wasn’t too happy about Ms. Larsen’s choice for his replacement. She hadn’t spoken to Isak since she told him to leave her alone. He’d been glued to Ingrid’s side for the past week, following her around like a little puppy.

Rehearsals were going to get awkward when they worked on the scenes with Wickham. At least Jonas hadn’t gotten the part. That was the only thing that could have made it worse.

…

Ms. Larsen had them work on the scenes with the Bennet family since Darcy and Wickham were currently going over lines. That meant three hours of working with Sonja and Ingrid.

It was a breath of fresh air whenever Ms. Larsen asked for the scene between Elizabeth and her father. Though Magnus, who played Mr. Bennet, was friends with Jonas, he didn’t seem to hate Eva. Or maybe he was just a good actor.

That ended up being the only good scene for the day.

Eva sighed as she walked backstage, hiking her bag onto her shoulder. She just wanted to be home in her bed. Her feet were killing her.

Even waved at her. “Eva, come here for a second.”

She walked over to him. “What’s up?”

“Heard rehearsal was kind of rough for you. I wanted to check in on you.”

Eva glanced over and caught Sonja’s gaze. She was glaring daggers at her. Eva shifted uncomfortably. “I’m okay. I just need to practice more.”

Even nodded, smiling. “Yeah, you’ll get it. I know it can be hard to separate your personal feelings, but that’s the theatre. Sometimes you have to act with people you hate.”

“How do you know about that?”

“The cast has been privy to some interesting gossip about you and Ingrid.”

“What?” Eva looked around, panicked. The last few stragglers were shuffling out of the door and into the hallway.

“She stole your boyfriend. Or at least that’s what everyone’s saying.”

Great, Vilde had been circulating that rumor. Or maybe someone sitting nearby had heard her talking about it. It was better than the truth, but not by much. She’d rather no one know they were connected at all. She’d been trying her best to ignore Ingrid and hide her complicated feelings, but that was hard when they had to act in scenes together.

“Aren’t you glad Jonas didn’t get cast as Darcy? That would have been much worse.”

Eva sighed. “Yeah, you’re right.” Pretending to like the boy who stole her girlfriend definitely would be harder than acting as her ex’s daughter. Still, she wished they hadn’t auditioned at all. Neither of them did the play last semester. “I’m sorry I’m screwing everything up. My scenes with Sonja have been terrible too.”

“That’s not your fault. Sonja is notoriously difficult to work with,” Even said. “She’s a great actress but not much of a team player.”

“How does she get off being so bitchy?”

Even twiddled his thumbs. “You do know we’re dating, right?”

“Wait, what? You’re joking.”

“No, I’m not. We’ve been together three years now. I know she’s not the nicest to everyone, but she’s a really good person. You just have to get to know her better.”

“Not sure if I want to,” Eva said. “She should have been cast as Caroline Bingley. She’s so not a Jane.”

“Look, I don’t know what she said to you, but give her a chance. She might surprise you.”

Eva definitely couldn’t see that happening. The last thing she wanted was to be friends with Sonja.

…

They were eating in the cafeteria since Penetrator Chris always hung out in the courtyard where they normally ate. Surprisingly it had been Vilde’s idea. She’d firmly joined the “hate Chris” club after Noora and Eva told her about his behavior at the party.

Eva hadn’t seen him since he’d been kicked out of the play, and she was worried he’d be out for blood. She was trying her best to avoid him.

Eva arrived to the cafeteria first, got her food, and picked an empty table for the girls. She sat down and started munching on her food.

Isak approached her, a plate of food in hand. “Can I sit?”

Eva glanced over at Ingrid’s table. She and Jonas were looking at Isak, confused. “I think your friends want you over there.”

Isak shrugged, nearly dropping his plate. He set it on the table. “So can I sit?”

“If you want. Ingrid will probably hate you for it though.”

Isak sat down, resting his elbows on the table. “I don’t care what Ingrid thinks of me. You shouldn’t have to sit by yourself.”

“Actually, I’m not sitting by myself.” Eva looked over to the food line and waved at Noora and Sana. A few minutes later they gathered at the table, along with Vilde and Chris.

“Mr. Wickham,” Noora said. “To what do we owe this pleasure?”

“He’s my friend,” Eva quickly said. “Just a friend.”

“Ouch. Friendzoned,” Chris said, winking at Isak.

“It would be quite the scandal if Elizabeth ran away with Wickham. Darcy certainly wouldn’t talk him into marrying her to save her reputation,” Noora pointed out.

Eva’s cheeks warmed. Not as bad as Elizabeth pining after Darcy’s younger sister… But a relationship with Noora would be stupid. She couldn’t risk losing these new friends when things inevitably fell apart.

“Don’t worry. You’re a definite upgrade from the last Wickham,” Vilde said, pushing the tomatoes across her salad plate.

“I’ve never acted before,” Isak said.

“Neither has Eva, and look at her. She’s doing so well. You’ll get the hang of it, and once the play opens, you’ll be able to have any girl you like.”

Sana snorted. “You know the play won’t actually make us popular, right?”

Vilde looked deeply offended. “You don’t know that. Even and Yousef are both really popular.”

“Because they’re good-looking guys. That has nothing to do with the play.”

“Not only the guys. There’s also Mari and Sonja and Iben. Anyways, we’re meeting popular people through doing the play, so maybe they’ll invite us to some cool parties. I hear Mari and Sonja go to some wild ones.”

“What about getting a boyfriend?” Chris asked.

Vilde smiled, eyes lighting up. “Exactly. There’s so many cute guys in theatre.”

“Though half of them are probably taken.” Chris shrugged. “Or gay.”

“Maybe not,” Noora said. “Most of them seem pretty straight and boring. No offence.” She shot Isak an apologetic smile. “Eskild said it was a lot more fun when he was a student here.”

“Hey.” They all looked over to see Magnus, one of Isak’s friends, standing there.

Isak rolled his eyes. “Is the ice queen demanding my return?”

“What? No.” Magnus leaned down and spoke a little softer. “I just wanted to let you all know that Chris just walked in the door. I think he’s looking for one of you.” He glanced at Noora and Isak.

“Oh, crap.”

They didn’t have time to flee. Chris had already spotted them, and he was barreling through the crowd towards them. They all stood up. Magnus moved to stand in front of Isak, and Eva stood in front of Noora.

Penetrator Chris grabbed the collar of Eva’s shirt. “You bitch. Think you can get me booted from the play? Well, I’ll make sure you pay.”

Eva grabbed Chris’s wrist. She was a little surprised at herself. It was an automatic response, and now she wasn’t quite sure what to do, but the words came to her. “Let me go.”

Surprisingly he did. He took a step back and crossed his arms. “I didn’t do what you’re accusing me of,” he said loudly. “I wouldn’t cheat on my girlfriend. You’re just so lonely and desperate you thought I was flirting with you.” He laughed, an ugly guffaw. “Like I would even be interested in a pathetic first year like you.”

“I didn’t report you,” Eva said. “Someone from the party must have.”

“Usually they don’t kick someone out unless they have proof,” Noora added, stepping in front of Eva.

That seemed to scare Chris a little. “That’s ridiculous. It didn’t happen, so there is no proof.” He shoved Noora backwards, turned on his heel, and stormed out of the cafeteria.

Eva caught Noora by the arm.

“That was scary,” Noora said, putting a hand to her heart.

“I wonder who reported him.” Eva sat back down at the table. The rest of the students had turned back to their food, though there was a buzz of gossip.

“Eskild did. He has video proof. We installed security cameras after a theft during the last party. It doesn’t get the sound, but Chris very clearly gives you unwelcome attention.”

“Never thought I’d be grateful to a thief.”

Noora laughed. “Me either.”


	8. The Perfect Date Spot

The fabric store was calm and peaceful. Eva didn’t feel like she had to look over her shoulder every few minutes since Penetrator Chris would never be caught dead here.

Things had settled down a little since yesterday’s drama in the cafeteria. They were still the topics of hot gossip, but at least none of Chris’s friends had come after them. Eva was hoping this would all blow over soon.

“Find anything good?” Noora asked.

Eva ran her hand across the silky fabric, awed by the beautiful cream color and subtle floral design. “This one is beautiful.”

Noora picked up the bolt of fabric to look at the details on the cardboard. “Unfortunately it’s upholstery fabric. More suitable for furniture. It would look gorgeous, but under those hot stage lights, it would be a death trap.” She laughed.

“You’re so knowledgeable about all this.”

“I’ve studied a lot,” Noora said. “If I want to do this professionally one day, I need to know as much as I can. You’ve got an excellent eye for good fabric, but let’s find a section with lighter ones.”

Noora gave her tips on which fabrics were best for stage costumes, pointing the sections out as they walked around the store. She knew where everything was and didn’t have to ask the shop attendants for help once.

Eva was in awe watching her work. She could tell Noora was passionate about this, and it was just so great hearing someone talk about something they loved. The way Noora’s eyes lit up, her beautiful smile with those red-painted lips, the way her nose wrinkled when she laughed.

There was no denying it anymore, Eva was smitten. If she couldn’t make these feelings go away, she’d just keep quiet about it. Her own little secret. Thank goodness Noora couldn’t read her thoughts.

Noora held out a salmony pink against Eva’s skin, her fingers brushing Eva gently. “Most of the films put Elizabeth in browns, creams, and whites, but I was wondering about going a little more striking for the stage. The walls for the set of the Bennet house are a light blue, so I was wondering about this color.”

Eva’s skin felt electric where Noora was touching her. She realized she wasn’t breathing, gasped, and took a step back. “Sorry, I just think it’s a little too salmon. Won’t the stage lights make that look weird?”

Noora bit her lip, studying the fabric. “Yeah, you’re right. It’ll be mimicking candle lights so it’ll have a yellow or orange tone to it. We’d do better with lavender or maybe puce.”

“Won’t puce just look brown?”

Noora laughed. “You’re getting the hang of this. I wish blue had been more popular in the Regency era. You would look stunning in a nice sapphire blue.”

Warmth spread across Eva’s cheeks. Stunning. Was Noora implying she thought Eva was stunning, or just that the dress would look stunning on her?

“It doesn’t have to be period accurate, though. It’s a high school production. None of us are the right ages to play the characters anyways.” She thought of Isak’s friend Magnus, who played Mr. Bennet.

“That is true. Hm, I definitely want you in white and cream for the ball scenes, but we can do blue and lavender dresses for some of the Bennet house scenes. Let’s go back to where we saw those lovely damask fabrics.”

After they’d chosen a few fabrics for Elizabeth’s outfits, they chose some for Caroline Bingley and Jane Bennet. Luckily, the theatre department had a large selection of costumes already. Noora had gone through the options and chosen several for the minor characters in the play, but she really wanted to make some of the major character outfits from scratch.

It would be a lot of work, and she’d be doing most of it alone. At least she didn’t have a lot of lines to memorize. Georgiana Darcy was only in two scenes.

“Want to get some ice cream after this?” Noora asked as they were standing in line to check out. “There’s a shop right by the button store I want to go to next.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Eva said. Her throat was pretty dry, and she could never say no to food. The way to Eva’s heart was definitely through her stomach.

…

The ice cream parlor was packed, and Eva stressed about what to order the whole time they waited in line. Noora ordered two scoops of strawberry ice cream. Eva ended up ordering one scoop of chocolate, one scoop of mint, and one scoop of cherry.

They both got their scoops in bowls since cones cost extra. Noora picked a table by the window, so they could watch the beautiful landscape. Or maybe it was just so they’d be close to the door. Eva was no mind reader.

“Want to try mine?” Noora asked.

Eva glanced at the strawberry ice cream. She’d been eyeing it earlier. “Just one bite,” she said. She tasted a spoonful. Her eyes widened. “Wow, that’s good.”

“I know,” Noora said, laughing. “Eskild and I come here a lot, so I’ve tried every flavor. And I mean every flavor. This one is my favorite.”

Eva couldn’t help but smile. Noora was so adorable when she was happy. To distract herself she dug into her flavors, one bite of each. They were all good, but the cherry was her favorite. “Cherry is the winner for me,” she said.

Noora nodded. “I guess we’re both fruit fans.” That was one way to put it.

Eva glanced around the shop, noticing for the first time that they were surrounded by couples. Mostly girl-boy pairings. Two guys sitting at the corner table were feeding each other ice cream. Not necessarily a couple but highly likely.

Eva wondered if Noora had chosen this place because it was a date spot. But that wouldn’t make sense. Noora didn’t like her. She wouldn’t casually take her to a date spot and be like “guess what, we’re dating now.”

“Thanks for inviting me to come shopping with you,” Eva said, trying to get her mind off dating. She let her imagination run wild far too often.

“Oh, no, I should be the one thanking you. I’m always shopping by myself, so it’s nice to have company for once. Sometimes Eskild joins me for food shopping, but it usually turns into him asking me to buy a bunch of things for him.” Noora laughed.

“You two seem to have a good friendship.”

“Yeah, it’s that gay/lesbian solidarity. I didn’t know what to expect when I moved in with him and Linn. My dad knew his dad, so when my dad heard he needed a new roommate, he made the arrangements. I’d never met Eskild before, but we got along right away. He’s helped me become more confident in myself.”

“That’s really nice. Friends like that are rare.” Eva had never had anyone like that. She envied Noora.

“Yeah, I know. That’s why I don’t mind so much when he mooches off me. He’s really done quite a lot for me.”

“I also think you’re just a kind person in general.”

Noora smiled. “I try. Did you ever see the live action _Cinderella_ movie?”

Eva jumped, the memory coming to her vividly. Another date night with Ingrid. They’d skipped school to go see it. The theatre had been almost empty. They’d held hands the entire movie, which was a big deal for them since they’d never held hands in public before.

“Yeah, I saw it,” she said, brushing her hair behind her ear.

“I really like the mother’s line in that movie. ‘Have courage and be kind.’ That’s kind of been my mantra this last year.”

“It’s a good one,” Eva said. She was distracted for the rest of their time, bothered by the reminder that all friendships could be broken.


	9. Free Food

Monday after school Eva arrived to rehearsal, ready to act. Today they would be working on the early scenes with Darcy. The Lucas’s ball where Elizabeth overhears Darcy talking to Bingley. The scene at Netherfield Park where Elizabeth comes after Jane in the rain and ends up staying to help a sick Jane. And of course the first proposal where Elizabeth turns down Darcy.

“Even and Yousef, center stage,” Ms. Larsen called. “Eva, take a chair.” They wouldn’t block the scene until after they’d practiced it several times. Ms. Larsen said she wanted to get a feel for how the students acted together before deciding on stage directions.

Eva set her chair in the middle of the stage facing away from the boys. She sat down and waited for the boys to begin the scene.

“Come, Darcy,” said Yousef, patting Even on the shoulder. “I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance.”

“I certainly shall not,” Even replied. “You know how I detest it.” He continued on with Darcy’s list of excuses, ending with, “There is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with.”

Eva lifted her eyebrows. He really played the part well. She could believe in that moment that Even detested all the women in the room, herself included.

“_You_ are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room,” said Even, looking over at Sonja.

Eva bit her lip, stifling a heavy sigh of annoyance. She didn’t understand what he saw in Sonja. She was absolutely horrid.

“Oh! She is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld!” Yousef exclaimed. “But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you.”

“Which do you mean?” Even asked. He turned around to look down his nose at Eva.

She didn’t shy away from his gaze. The script told her to hold it until he pulled away.

His voice was cold as he continued. “She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me.”

Eva knew he was acting, just saying the lines in the script, but she felt those words. Felt their realness. She wasn’t particularly interested in Even, but the rejection she felt reminded her of Ingrid. How she’d chosen Jonas over her in the end.

“That was excellent, Eva,” Ms. Larsen called, interrupting her thoughts. “You really captured Elizabeth’s feelings in that scene. We may need to angle the chair a bit more so the audience will be able to see the full range, of course.”

…

After rehearsal, the girls went to a bakery to try a new dessert Vilde had heard about online. Eva loved the days when she had enough energy to hang out with the girls after rehearsal, though they were rare. She wasn’t as tired today as she normally was after rehearsal. Working with Even and Yousef was exhilarating. They were both talented actors, and even though Sonja was in a lot of the scenes, Eva found it was getting easier to deal with her.

Sonja was great about staying in character throughout the scene. Eva could almost forget how awful she was. Then the scene would end, and she’d glare at Eva. She wasn’t even subtle about it.

“I seriously can’t understand why he’s dating her,” Eva said for probably the hundredth time. “How does he put up with her?”

Vilde giggled. “You like him.”

“What? I don’t.”

Vilde pointed her fork at Eva. “Don’t think you can hide it. It’s so obvious. And for the record, I think Even likes you too. He’s always pulling you aside to give you advice when you’re struggling.”

“That just means he’s a good guy,” Eva said. “A professional.”

“You know who else is a good guy?” Vilde said, sighing dreamily. “Magnus. Remember how he warned us when Penetrator Chris was coming. That was so sweet of him, right?”

“Yes, very sweet,” Noora said, then quickly changed the topic. “So, Eskild wants to invite all of you to our flat Friday night. He wants to cook a meal for everyone.”

“Why?” Sana asked.

“Hey, don’t complain about free food,” Chris said.

“I’m not, I just mean he’s never invited us for a meal before. Why now?”

Noora sighed. “It was actually my idea. I mentioned that I wanted a quiet night in with you girls, since we seem to go to a party every weekend.”

“Yeah, last Friday was fun, but I’m a little burnt out on the party scene,” Chris admitted. “Not enough new faces. I’ve made out with Kasper, like, the last three parties.”

“Kasper as in Mr. Collins?” Vilde asked, voice squeaking. “But he’s kinda, you know, weird.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, we’re weird too,” Sana said.

Chris scarfed down a strawberry that was sitting on whipped cream on top of her cake. “Also, Magnus is very weird too, and you’re the one who wants to shove your tongue down his throat.”

Vilde’s face turned red.

“Anyways,” Noora said. “Back to Friday night. Don’t get me wrong, parties are fun. But it’s nice to have a break sometimes, right? I said I would cook, but Eskild insisted that he wanted to so I could relax.”

Eva smiled. “That sounds amazing. Count me in.”

“Me too,” Chris said around a mouthful of cake.

“What is he making?” Vilde asked. “I’m trying to avoid meat and dairy.”

“He was planning to make tacos, but I can ask him to make something else.”

“No, it’s fine,” Vilde said hurriedly. “I’ll just bring a salad. A big one for everyone?”

Noora nodded. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

…

The week seemed to fly by. Most of the rehearsals were spent on dancing choreography and all the scenes that took place in a ballroom. That meant more time with Darcy, Bingley, and Wickham, and even a couple scenes with Charlotte Lucas. Working with Even, Yousef, Isak, and Vilde certainly beat working on scenes with Sonja and Ingrid, though there were a few of those sprinkled in.

Eva was really looking forward to the scenes with Lady Catherine and her daughter, played by Sana and Chris. They were scheduled for next week, along with more Darcy scenes.

...

Friday arrived at long last. The girls all headed home after school to get some relaxing in before they headed to dinner at Noora’s.

Eva was the first to arrive at Noora’s flat. It looked quite a bit different without all the decorations. The record player was still in the corner, but the records had been taken down from the wall and stored neatly on a shelf behind the player. The cardboard cutouts of rock stars were nowhere to be seen, but Noora told her Eskild was hoarding them in his room.

Briefly Eskild appeared to greet Eva, thrilled to see her, and then he went back to the kitchen. He was wearing oven mitts, though Eva wasn’t sure why. Didn’t you normally make taco meat on the stove?

The other girls arrived soon after. Noora said the kitchen table was too small for all of them, so they gathered at the couches surrounding a coffee table in the main room. Eskild walked in with plates of tacos for everyone, and Noora’s third roommate Linn appeared. She took her plate and disappeared back into her room.

It was a fun night. Chris had a scary story to share about ghosts haunting her grandmother’s cabin. Sana complained about her idiot brother and his friends. Eskild gave them the scoop on more drama during the school production of _Into the Woods._

Vilde was uncharacteristically quiet throughout the whole meal and barely touched her salad.

“Are you okay?” Eva asked.

Vilde gave a strained smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

She didn’t seem fine, but Eva didn’t want to push her into talking. The last she wanted was to make Vilde uncomfortable. One of the other girls would be better suited to helping her anyways. They’d all known her longer than Eva had.

Vilde was the first to head home. Eva offered to walk her to the bus stop, but Vilde politely declined. Chris had had a little too much wine to drink, so she ended up calling a cab for the rest of them.

Eva hugged Eskild and Noora and thanked them for the wonderful meal.

“Thanks so much for coming,” Noora said, her hand lingering for a moment on Eva’s arm.

Her skin felt so warm. Eva was tempted to ask for another hug, but she pulled away, hiking her purse onto her shoulder. “Well, I’ll see you on Monday.”

“See you on Monday…”


	10. Memories of the Heart

On Saturday afternoon, Eva waited for Even at the park. He’d agreed to run lines with her, thankfully. She was still struggling with a lot of their scenes.

Ten minutes later Even arrived, his cheeks flushed, sweat dripping down his temple. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Did you run here?” Eva asked.

He shrugged, giving her a playful smile. “I needed some exercise. So let’s get to practicing. I memorized all of your lines too, so if you need any prompts, I can help you.”

“Yeah, sure, let’s get started. Should we work on the scene when Elizabeth receives Jane’s letter?”

“Yes, that’s a good one. I know you’ve been having trouble getting the emotions right.”

Eva nodded glumly. “So, we’ll start with your line?”

“Actually, it’s your line first. I just appear and you say, ‘I beg your pardon.’”

“Oh, yes, I remember now.” Eva steeled herself and stood in front of the bench. Even stood up and walked a few paces away, then walked towards her, looking surprised.

“I beg your pardon, but I must leave you. I have not an instant to lose.”

“Good God! what is the matter?” he said, then cleared his throat and lowered his voice. “I will not detain you a minute, but let me go instead. You are not well enough. You cannot go yourself.”

Eva tried her best to feign hesitation. It was easy to make her knees tremble, but she wasn’t sure her facial expression was quite right. She sat down, as if the world weighed on her shoulders.

“Let me call your maid,” Even said, taking a seat beside her on the bench and touching her shoulder gently. “Is there nothing you could take to give you present relief? A glass of wine? Shall I get you one? You are very ill.”

“No, I thank you,” Eva said. “There is nothing the matter with me. I am quite well. I am only distressed by some dreadful news which I have just received from Longbourn.” This was the part where she was supposed to burst into tears, but she couldn’t muster them.

“You can fake the tears,” Even said. “The audience won’t be able to tell the difference.”

“I’ve tried to fake it, and it just looks ridiculous.”

Even chuckled. “That reminds me of another play I did. I had to sing this dramatic song, and no matter how many times I practiced, I just felt ridiculous. In the end it turned out ridiculous was exactly what the scene needed.”

“I don’t think ridiculous would work here. This is supposed to be an important scene between Darcy and Elizabeth. It’s when he decides to go through a lot of trouble to save her sister. I don’t want to ruin the scene with bad crying.”

“Practice in front of a camera,” Even suggested. “Put in some earplugs or some headphones with sad music. It’s better if you can’t hear or see yourself practicing. Then you can watch it back and see what you need to adjust. It helped me get through my song; it’ll help you get through this.”

Eva wasn’t sure that would work. She didn’t like watching herself on camera, but she appreciated the advice. It would probably work great if she had enough confidence in herself to try it.

…

Eva wished time would move faster. Monday’s Rehearsal was going terrible. Ms. Larsen had her working on the scenes with the Bennet family, which meant lots of time with her evil ex and the nightmarish Sonja. Though scenes with Sonja had gotten better, acting with Ingrid was still incredibly difficult. It was hard to act when she was struggling to keep herself together.

At least in this scene they were supposed to be fighting. But still, it felt off. The dynamics between exes and mother and daughter were very different.

Ingrid grabbed her by the shoulders. “You must marry Mr. Collins,” she insisted, shaking her. Her voice was spot on, but her face gave away her discomfort.

“I cannot,” Eva replied, sounding more angry than upset.

Then came the threats, Ingrid getting closer to her with each line. “Elizabeth Bennet, you will listen to your mother. Mr. Collins is the best proposal you shall ever receive, and you would be an absolute fool to turn down such a generous offer.”

Eva slapped her. The room went dead quiet. Everyone was in shock, but no one was as shocked as Eva. She looked at her hand, like it didn’t belong to her.

“I’m sorry,” she said, pulling her hand away. “I just got too into the scene.”

Ms. Larsen was frowning. She rubbed her forehead as if to ease a headache. “Even, would you take Eva aside and help her cool down? Ingrid, you should go see the school nurse.”

“I’m fine,” she insisted.

“Now.” Ms. Larsen pointed to the door.

“I’ll take her,” Jonas offered.

Ms. Larsen nodded. “All right, the rest of you, let’s work on more of the dance choreography. Eskild will help you.”

Eva followed Even backstage. He sat down on a stack of mats and patted the spot next to him. Eva sat down. She could hear Eskild giving instructions to the others, but she couldn’t see them from here. Which was a relief, to be honest. She was so embarrassed by what happened.

“I didn’t mean to hit her,” Eva said. “I’m not someone who just hits people, I swear. Ms. Larsen’s not going to kick me out, is she?”

Even shook his head, smiling reassuringly. “No, you’d have to do something very terrible to get kicked out.”

“Slapping someone isn’t considered terrible?”

“It’s the theatre. We’re dramatic. It happens more often than you’d think. It’s really easy to get carried away by the scenes.”

“So you’re not here to scold me?”

“Oh, I am, but not because you hit her. The problem is, that isn’t a scene it should have happened during. Elizabeth has already gotten her father’s permission not to marry Mr. Collins. Mrs. Bennet’s insistence might annoy Elizabeth, but she’s certainly not angry enough to hit her mother.”

“Are you the expert in character emotions?” Eva asked.

Even shrugged, folding his hands in his lap. “Ms. Larsen seems to think so. Look, I know you hate Ingrid. You have good reason to. But with acting, you have to set all of that aside.”

“It’s hard,” Eva said glumly.

“Acting is hard. Not everyone can do it. But you’ve got natural talent. I really believe you can do this, Eva. You just need to start believing in yourself.”

“Easier said than done.”

“Don’t I know,” Even said, his gaze going distant for a moment as his thoughts drifted somewhere else. He sighed, looking back at her. “I might not be the best person to be giving this advice, but I find that immersing myself in the character helps a lot. When you’re acting, you aren’t yourself. Ingrid isn’t herself either. She’s Mrs. Bennet, and I can tell you without a doubt that Mrs. Bennet did not steal your boyfriend.”

Eva couldn’t manage a smile, though she tried. “I think I just need some rest. I’ll feel better tomorrow.”

“One other thing that might help is to practice with someone you don’t hate. Ask one of your friends. I’d offer, but I don’t think I’d make a convincing Mrs. Bennet. Good luck, Eva.”

…

Eva did not feel better the next day. Oh, no. She felt a thousand times worse. It was a Wednesday, so she didn’t even have rehearsal. She just felt like death itself.

Vilde and Noora had invited her to go shopping with them after school, but Eva gave them some lame excuse about her mom insisting she had to clean her room. She got home and collapsed on her bed. She stared up at the ceiling, avoiding looking at said mess. Her mom had given up on forcing her to clean it. It just got messy again anyways.

Eva sighed. The box by her hamper came to mind. All the pictures, all the things she’d lent to Ingrid. She shouldn’t touch the box. Honestly, the box should be hidden away or thrown out, but she couldn’t bring herself to do either.

The box was calling to her, and she had no choice but to get up. She knelt beside the box, picking up the teddy bear she’d left at Ingrid’s house. It was there for nights when she stayed over, so she’d always have a piece of home with her.

Teddy used to bring her comfort. Now his beaded eyes just looked evil. She pushed him aside and pulled out a photo frame.

Ingrid’s fourteenth birthday. Before they were dating. They looked so happy. How naive they were to think they’d be friends forever.

She tossed the frame aside and her hand landed on a gold necklace. It had belonged to Eva’s grandmother, and she’d given it to Eva to wear when she turned thirteen. Ingrid adored it, so she’d let her borrow it several times while they were dating. Eva couldn’t bring herself to wear it anymore. It had become a part of Ingrid.

She dropped it back in the box, and it clattered against the photo frames. Eva pulled out a picture with no frame. Tears started to fall down her cheeks.

It was a photo of Eva and Ingrid shortly after they started dating. That blissful honeymoon phase where everything was perfect. She remembered feeling that it couldn’t last, and of course it hadn’t. In the photo they were both wearing their mom’s wedding dress and kissing under an arch. Ingrid looked stunning, her hair professionally done in an updo and her nails painted lavender.

At the time posing for a fake wedding seemed like a fun idea. If she’d known it would hurt this much looking back at it, she never would have suggested it. Eva crumpled the photo into a ball and tossed it back into the box.

Shakily, she stood and walked back to her bed. She threw the covers over her and settled in for the night, even though it was barely after four in the afternoon.

…

The scene with Darcy that Eva had been looking forward to all week had somehow gotten worse. Ms. Larsen spent what felt like an hour making them go over the scene again and again.

“I’m not feeling the passion,” she said, shaking her fist.

_Me either_, Eva thought. All she could feel was annoyance. She was tired of this scene. Darcy’s second proposal, the one Elizabeth actually accepts. She’d even worked on it with Even on Saturday, but it still wasn’t where she wanted it to be.

“If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once,” Even said. “My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever.”

Eva couldn’t do it. She couldn’t muster an ounce of happiness. All she wanted to do was leave, be anywhere but here.

“Your line is, ‘My feelings have changed so completely that I do find myself with no choice but to accept you wholeheartedly,’” Eskild prompted.

Eva took a deep breath and nodded. “My feelings have changed so completely that I, that I…”

“You should be off book,” Ms. Larsen snapped. It was clear she was frustrated, probably regretting her choice for lead actress.

“I know the line,” Eva said. “I’ll do it again.”

Even shot her a small smile before regaining his Darcy face.

“My feelings have changed so completely that I do find myself with no choice but to accept you wholeheartedly.” She tried to put emotion into it, but it just came out hollow and empty. How could she feel anything else when the hurt was so strong?

“Eva, you’re done for the day,” Ms. Larsen said sharply.

“What? No, I’m fine.”

“You’re clearly not fine. Sonja, run this scene with Even so he can practice. Here, we can get an extra script.”

“Oh, I don’t need the script,” Sonja said. “I’ve already memorized the whole play.”

“Perfect, let’s run it then. Eskild will show you the blocking. Eva, what are you doing standing there? Go home. Get some rest this weekend. We’ll run the scene again on Monday.”

Eva nodded numbly. She walked off the stage feeling pathetic. None of the other actors had been asked to leave for the day. Not even Kasper, their Mr. Collins, who still regularly botched his lines.

Maybe she wasn’t cut out for theatre work after all.

“Eva! Wait a moment.” Noora was chasing after her, measuring tape and pincushion in hand. “Don’t worry about it, okay? We can work on the scene this weekend. I promise you we can make it perfect by Monday.”

“Sorry, I’m busy this weekend.”

“Tomorrow after school?” Noora looked so hopeful.

“I’ve got to help my mom run some errands.”

“What about during lunch? Or in the morning? We could even do it on Monday.”

Eva, annoyed, turned to leave. “I said I’m busy. Gosh, can’t you take a hint?” She couldn’t bear to look back at Noora’s reaction. She hurried from the theatre, worried someone would see her cry, but the tears never came.


	11. Chaos on the Dance Floor

Friday evening Vilde posted in the group chat about a party that night at Mari’s house. Chris eagerly said she wanted to go, but Sana said she had homework to do.

Noora hadn’t replied yet.

Eva rolled onto her stomach and stared at the message again. She’d skipped school today, and she was bored out of her mind, but she didn’t know if she could face Noora yet.

She’d really snapped at her. That was what messing up your lines and being kicked out of rehearsal did to a girl. Eva sighed. She couldn’t decide whether she wanted to party with the girls or not.

Right now anything out of the house sounded good, but if her sour mood continued, then being around her friends was a bad idea. The last thing she wanted to do was say something horrible to them.

_Vilde: We’re going drinking with some theatre kids instead. Noora and Eva, hope you can meet us!_

She sent the address.

Eva thought about going, but she felt sick to her stomach at the thought of hanging out with the theatre kids. They would probably look down on her for what happened on Thursday.

But she did need to get out of the house. That left Mari’s party. If nothing else, she could get free drinks and maybe dance a little. Some mindless fun was just what she needed.

…

“Name?” a third year asked at the door.

Eva crossed her arms. Was he serious? Guarding a house party? “Eva Kviig Mohn,” she said, hoping by some miracle her name would be on the list.

“Ah, there you are. Go ahead.” He nodded to the door.

Shocked, Eva walked through the door. Vilde must have gotten Mari to put all their names on the list, in case they decided to come. That was so sweet of her.

Eva felt a little bad she hadn’t replied to the group chat. Maybe she should ask Vilde and Chris to come to the party with her. She really missed the girls. It was weird not seeing them all day.

Music blasted through loudspeakers. Blacklights lined the walls, and people had painted their faces and bodies with blacklight paint. The house looked really nice too. Mari definitely had rich parents.

Eva meandered through the crowd, searching for familiar faces in the dim lighting. Part of her wanted to find people she knew, but another part of her was dreading it. Sometimes it was better to have fun anonymously.

A curly pink wig bobbed in the center of the dance floor. She recognized the person wearing it. Eskild. But he was surrounded by guys wearing more body paint than actual clothing, so she didn’t want to interrupt his fun.

She walked down the hallway and to another room where a group of guys played billiards. People were dancing here too, but this seemed to be the couples side. She spotted Even dancing with his girlfriend Sonja. Well, she definitely didn’t want to interrupt that. She headed back into the hallway and ran into someone as she turned the corner.

Isak backed up, surprised. His two drinks splashed over his hands. “Eva, what are you doing here?”

“Um, I was invited.” Why did it seem like he didn’t want her there? She raised an eyebrow. “What about you? Who are you here with?” She nodded to the second cup.

“Isabell. From the play.”

Ah, the silly girl who played Kitty Bennet. “You can do better,” Eva said.

Isak grinned. “I don’t see you with anyone. Want to dance?”

“You’re just going to ditch her like that?”

He shrugged, nearly spilling the drinks again. “Her friends are here, so she’ll be fine.”

“All the more reason you should go back to her. You don’t want to be that guy she cries about all night. Trust me.”

“All right. I’ll catch you later.” He smiled, then walked around her.

“Eva, fancy seeing you here.”

She went totally stiff at that voice. Penetrator Chris. He slithered through the crowd, shimmying his shoulders.

“I’m meeting my friends,” Eva told him.

He looked around. “I don’t see them right now. I’ll wait with you.”

Eva didn’t trust him. He was acting way too friendly for someone who tried to publicly humiliate her a few weeks ago.

“Come on, we’ll have some drinks and dance a little. It’ll be fun.”

Eva looked around for someone else she knew, anyone else. Eskild had disappeared from the dance floor. She noticed the pink wig he’d been wearing draped across the bottom step of the staircase. Well, she certainly couldn’t go looking for him now. Who knows what she’d be interrupting.

“Maybe for a little bit,” she said hesitantly. “Until my friends get here.” As they walked, Eva tried to text her friends for help behind her back. It was supposed to say ‘Help, PChris is at Mari’s party. I need backup.’ But when she glanced at the screen, it said ‘Hello Paris ua ar nadia party. U news backstop.’ Damn autocorrect.

“What are you doing?” Chris asked.

Eva hit send and backed out of the messaging app, pulling up Instagram in record time. “I wanted to take a picture,” she said.

“Of us?”

Eva smiled, nodding. “Yeah, to show we’re having fun.”

Chris shook his head. “No, I know what you’re doing.”

Oh, crap. He could already tell she was sending out a distress call. Her friends would definitely come if they saw her here with Penetrator Chris. “It’s not what you think.”

“You want my girlfriend to see it so she’ll break up with me, and then you can have me all to yourself. I know how you girls think.”

Wow, he really was full of himself. “Let’s just dance.”

“Actually, I have a better idea. Why don’t we go upstairs?”

Yeah, no, not happening. Just then Eva saw someone else she knew. “Maria, hey, girl!” She waved at her frantically.

Maria waved back, but she didn’t come over. Gah, did no one know the distress wave?

Penetrator Chris put his hand on Eva’s back, leading her towards the stairs.

“Eva, oh my gosh, there you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.” Sara hugged her and grabbed her hand. “Come on, the others will be excited you’re here.”

By others Eva hoped she didn’t mean Ingrid and Jonas, but that wouldn’t make any sense. They would not be happy to see her. Sara led the way to the room with the billiard table, but there were no friends waiting there.

“What?” Eva asked, confused.

“I saw the distress signal,” Sara said. “I know we’re not really friends anymore, but I couldn’t leave you with Chris. God, I’m not that cruel.”

“Thank you,” Eva said. “Really, that was great. Your acting was so on point.”

“Why thank you. How do you think I got the role of Caroline Bingley? And don’t say it’s because I’m mean.”

“I wasn’t going to. Tonight you definitely saved me. Chris was trying to convince me to go upstairs.”

“Gross. That’s pretty ballsy of him though. I saw his girlfriend here a little while ago. She was asking around for him, saying he wasn’t responding to her texts.”

“I guess he didn’t expect her to chase him down,” Eva said with a laugh.

Sara looked like she wanted to say something else, but she just patted Eva’s arm. “I’ve got to get going. I’m meeting some of the others from the play. I’ll, uh, I’ll see you at rehearsal. Oh, and be careful not to run into Chris again.”

“Will do.” Eva looked around the room, but she didn’t recognize anyone here. She headed back down the hallway and glanced into the main room. She spotted Chris dancing with a group of girls. Good. Hopefully he would stay there.

Eva picked up the wig on the staircase. As she glanced up the stairs, she caught sight of Even going through a door upstairs. She sighed, disappointed. He and Sonja were about to have a nice night. She should just go home.

Her bladder protested. If she remembered correctly, there was a bathroom off the main dance floor, but she didn’t want to risk Penetrator Chris seeing her. Upstairs it was then.

She tossed the wig to the floor and continued up the stairs. The bathroom was right next to the room Even had gone into. Eva tried hard not to listen, but she still heard smooching sounds. At least there was no moaning. Yet.

She flushed the toilet after she finished and washed her hands. Time to go back out into the madness.

...

The cool night air hit Eva’s face as she walked out the front door. People were arguing to her left. She glanced over and saw Magnus, Jonas’s friend, trying to convince the third-year bouncer to let him into the party.

Eva knew she should just leave, but she felt bad for him. “He’s with me,” she told the third year.

He nodded and let Magnus follow her back into the house.

“Hey, thanks,” Magnus said. “You’re not so bad.”

Eva huffed, unable to hide her annoyance. “I’m sure you’ve heard a lot of stories from Ingrid.”

“Yeah, but I know they’re not all true. You can’t trust what an ex says about someone. People who are dating often bring out the worst in each other, so even if you did some bad stuff, she’s not the saint she paints herself to be.”

Eva stared at him, impressed. She’d always thought he was the stoner type, only concerned with getting high and goofing off with his friends. But now she was starting to get what Vilde saw in him.

“Ingrid’s always been a little in love with herself,” Eva said. And needy. She’d get upset if Eva didn’t notice her new clothes or jewelry. She would talk about a million insecurities just so Eva would reassure her she was beautiful and amazing. It got tiresome after a while, especially since Ingrid rarely complimented her.

“She’s here at the party,” Magnus said. “I was with them earlier. Jonas, Elias, and Mahdi are all smoking in the bathroom, and last I saw Ingrid was painting her nails.”

“What color?”

“Red.”

Eva rolled her eyes. Sex color. That meant she had night plans with Jonas. Ingrid always painted her nails to fit her plans. Pink for shopping. Gold for parties. White for church. Black for night clubs. And that very rare lavender for dates.

Oh how Eva missed that lavender...

She shook her head, banishing the thought. They were long over. She had to forget about Ingrid. It wasn’t like she actually wanted to get back with her. Her head knew what a bad idea that was, but her heart still needed time to catch up.

“I should go,” Eva said. “I don’t want to run into her.”

Magnus bobbed his head. “That’s valid, but I think you should stay. You shouldn’t have to leave because of her. It’s not fair that she cheats on you, and then you’re the one avoiding her. You have just as much of a right to be here.”

He was right, Eva knew. She was letting Ingrid affect her life way too much. The past few days she’d stayed at home, moping. She’d barely been able to concentrate in rehearsals. It wasn’t so bad before, but having Ingrid up close and personal during their scene had brought back all the old feelings.

Eva really needed to stamp them out. “I’m also avoiding Penetrator Chris.”

“Good call. Well, I don’t mind hanging out with you. If he sees you with a guy, he’ll keep his distance.”

Eva nodded. “That’s smart. Okay, thanks. Want to get a drink?” she asked, gesturing to the keg of beer and table of hard liquor.

Magnus grinned. “That’s more like it.”

Eva mixed herself a drink with vodka and fruit punch. She took a long sip from it. The room spun for a second, but she steaded herself by grabbing Magnus’s arm.

“Let’s go dance,” she told him. He followed her through the crowd.

Eva held onto her cup while she danced, swinging her hips from side to side. She took another long gulp, using the liquid to chase away all thoughts of her ex. Ingrid who? She smiled as the alcohol buzz settled over her. Her cup was empty so she tossed it to the dance floor.

Except it wasn’t empty. The liquid splashed across her shoes. She giggled and shrugged. “The floor wanted something to drink too.”

“Eva, are you okay?” Magnus asked. His eyes were wide with concern, and it was just so nice. So nice to be around someone who cared.

Eva pressed her lips against his, pulling him close to her, swaying against his body. He wasn’t super fit, but he was sturdy. She liked that. Her fingers traced under his shirt, against his lower back. She felt him shiver in pleasure.

The music seemed to fade away as she kissed Magnus, wrapped in the comfort and happiness of the moment. She didn’t want to ever leave.

Eva was ripped backwards. She tripped over her own feet, and someone steadied her. She turned her head to see Noora holding onto her, but she didn’t look pleased at all. Beside her stood Chris and Vilde. Oh, Vilde.

Eva reached for Vilde’s hair, running her fingers through the silky softness. “Vilde, hey. Thought you weren’t gonna co—come.” She hiccupped, then giggled.

Magnus’s face was completely red. Aw, he must have really enjoyed the kissing.

Eva looked around at her friends again, not understanding why they weren’t dancing. “You guys are no fun,” Eva said, pulling away from Noora and pushing herself through the crowd. It was so freaking hot in here. She tugged at her shirt collar.

The door was wobbling, but she headed towards it. As soon as she was outside, she vomited on the door mat. The rest of the night was a blur.

She remembered Noora calling a cab and taking her home. Remembered laying her head on Noora’s lap in the car. Remembered patting Noora’s head and thanking her. But she couldn’t remember Noora responding.

And then she was alone.

It was dark. Her head was pounding. She turned over on her bed, still wearing the outfit from the party. Sleep called her to a land of happy dreams.


	12. The Harder It Gets

When Eva awoke, her head was killing her, and her thoughts were slow. She made her way to the kitchen, poured herself a glass of water, and took some hangover medicine. She chewed on a piece of toast while she pulled out her phone.

Her eyes widened at the notifications. Several messages from friends, and she was tagged in a bunch of photos and stories on Instagram. Eva didn’t feel like reading just yet, so she clicked on Instagram. The first few photos were her at the party dancing, then one of her puking at the front door.

Crap. She had definitely had too much to drink last night. A new account was following her with the username evatheslutty. Her face was the icon. She clicked on the profile.

There were no pictures yet, but there was an Instagram story. She clicked on it.

A video from the party. She recognized the decorations and that song. She had definitely danced to that song. It zoomed over to where two people were kissing. A blond guy and a brown-haired girl. Wait, that was her shirt. Who was she kissing?

Vilde appeared in the video to pull her away, while Noora saved her from falling over. Eva turned around and ran toward the door, Noora running after her. The camera stayed on Vilde and the boy. He turned toward the camera, red-faced. Magnus.

Oh, crap. It all rushed back to Eva. She’d kissed Magnus. Vilde’s crush. No wonder Vilde had pulled her away. She was probably pissed. Eva was too scared to look at her messages now.

She’d messed up. Big time. And she didn’t even know why. It wasn’t like she liked Magnus. He was just there, and he was kind. And honestly, he wouldn’t be so bad to date, but Vilde liked him. Eva shouldn’t have gone near him.

Although she wasn’t tired, Eva went back to sleep.

…

Eva ignored the text messages all weekend. She couldn’t bring herself to go to school on Monday. She felt so horrible and nothing she did cheered her up. The cute animal videos failed her. Music failed her. And even Jane Austen failed her.

She did manage to look at the text messages, but none of them were good. Lots of “how could you do this to Vilde” messages from the girls. Dead silence from Vilde herself. And Jonas had even texted her. He told her to leave Magnus alone, and that she’d made a complete fool of herself at the party. Like she needed reminding.

Noora’s texts were the worst of them all. The messages started out fine, ones sent before the kiss. Noora said they saw Penetrator Chris and Eva in the background of Maria’s Instagram story and were on their way to help. She said they couldn’t decipher the gibberish text she’d sent, but it did alert them that something might be up.

Then after the party: _I wish we’d never met._

So just like that she’d lost all her friends. Again. And this time wasn’t even partially someone else’s fault. It was all on her.

She was so mad at herself. She finally had something good, but because of fear, she’d thrown it all away. Not like she deserved good things anyways.

Sonja could take her place in the play. She didn’t care anymore. She didn’t know why she’d cared in the first place. Nothing good ever lasted.

The evatheslutty account had started posting Instagram stories and pictures from old parties, back before she’d dated Ingrid. It certainly did make her look slutty. Couldn’t a girl experiment and have fun without people shaming her? All of the guys had been willing participants, but no one was shaming them.

The hours ticked by. Eva was hungry, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave her bed right now. Her mom was home, and she didn’t want to run into her. Her mom followed her Instagram account, but hopefully she wasn’t Instagram-savvy enough to find the _evatheslutty _account that kept popping up in her tagged pictures.

Eva’s stomach rumbled, and her thoughts returned to food. Luckily, she remembered she had some stale crackers in her backpack. She dug them out and started munching on them, barely tasting them. Not that they had much flavor anyways.

At 3:15 the doorbell rang. Eva clicked her phone off and pulled her comforter over her head. So loud. She just wanted to go back to sleep. Hopefully it was just a package from the mail and the delivery guy would go away soon.

Her mother’s footsteps sounded outside the door, heels clicking against the wooden floor. Oh, crap. Had someone reported her for skipping?

A knock sounded at her door. Eva didn’t dare come out from her covers. If she pretended she was sleeping, her mom would go away, right?

The doorknob squeaked as it turned. Oh my God. Did no one respect her privacy? “Go away, Mom,” she said, annoyed.

“I’m not your mother.”

Wait, Eva knew the voice. She sat up, wrapping the comforter around her. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at rehearsal?”

Even gave her a look, raising his eyebrows. “Shouldn’t _you _be at rehearsal? I heard you were absent today and wanted to check in on you. I thought you might be sick, so I brought some soup.” He held up a plastic bag.

“I’ll take the soup,” Eva said, holding out her hands. She was _that _hungry.

He handed it to her. “May I?” he said, gesturing to her desk chair.

“Knock yourself out.” Eva dug into the chicken noodle soup while he arranged the chair next to her bed and situated himself.

“When’s the last time you showered, Eva?”

“Yesterday,” she lied.

Even sighed. He was leaning forward, his hands folded together under his chin, elbows propped against his knees. “That makeup’s leftover from Friday, right? You’re even wearing the same clothes.”

“So what?” she said, setting the empty soup container on her night stand.

“You can’t hide here all week. Clean your face, take a shower, and get dressed.” He looked at his phone. “We’ve got about thirty minutes before we need to leave for rehearsal.”

“I’m not going. Sonja can take my role. I don’t want to be in the play anymore.”

“We both know that’s not true,” Even said, giving her a gentle smile. “You love acting. Don’t let some drama with your friends keep you from living your life.”

His words echoed Magnus’s advice from the party. Avoiding Ingrid was what got her into this mess in the first place. She couldn’t keep running away. She’d been doing it for weeks and it wasn’t working.

“I don’t know if I can face them just yet,” she said, hugging her pillow.

“Eva, I’ve learned a thing or two over the years. One thing I’ve learned is, the longer you wait, the harder it gets.”

She nodded. She’d encountered that firsthand. But still, she didn’t think she’d be able to bear her friends ignoring her. Would they even listen to her apology?

“I’ll go with you and help any way I can. But you need to take the first step, Eva. Get yourself cleaned up and face your mistakes. You seem to really regret Friday night. Let your friends know that. Saying nothing lets them imagine all kinds of awful scenarios.”

“You’re right. I’ll get ready. Thanks.”

Even’s face transformed. She hadn’t realized how worried he’d looked, but now he seemed relieved. Was he really that concerned about her?


	13. The Unhappy Truth

Magnus was standing outside the door of the theatre. He perked up when he saw her approaching and waved at her.

Dread twisted knots in Eva’s stomach. He thought the kiss meant something. How was she supposed to tell him she only kissed him because she was drunk and starved of affection?

Even nudged her towards him. “I’ll be just inside the door if you need me.”

“Thanks.” Eva walked over to Magnus. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he said. There was a moment’s silence while he ran a hand through his hair. “Listen, Eva, we should talk about Friday night. People are being horrible. You don’t deserve any of their mean comments. You did nothing wrong, okay?”

She opened her mouth to speak, but Magnus held up a finger.

“Let me finish please. You’re very sweet, Eva, and that kiss was incredible. I would love to date you, but I like somebody else. It wouldn’t be fair to you if I went out with you while being interested in her. So this, us, can’t happen.”

Sighing, Eva smiled. “You are such a good guy. I’m disappointed, but I understand. You should go for her, whoever she is.”

Magnus grinned. “Thanks so much for understanding. Also, I reported that Instagram account that keeps posting pictures of the kiss. Hopefully it’ll get taken down soon. I’ll see you inside.” He headed into the theatre.

Well, that was one weight off her chest. She really hoped the girl he liked was Vilde. Maybe if he asked her out, she would forgive Eva for kissing him. Though, that seemed unlikely.

Even poked his head through the door. “You coming?”

“Yeah.” Eva walked through the door, down the hallway, and turned the corner. She ran straight into Ingrid.

Ingrid grabbed her shoulders to steady her, an involuntary reaction most likely. She awkwardly pulled back, her cheeks flushed. “Did you see my post?” she asked.

“What post?”

“Instagram. You should look at it. Anyways, I’ve got to make a coffee run for Ms. Larsen. I’ll see you later.”

Eva stared after her in surprise. She was nicer than usual. That was unexpected. Eva pulled out her phone, curious about the post. She opened Ingrid’s Instagram page and clicked on the latest post.

The image popped up on her screen. It was Ingrid grinning from ear to ear and holding two bisexual pride flags. Underneath was the caption: _Finally living my truth! #comingout #bisexualpride #lgbt_

Jonas was the first comment, an overwhelming show of support. He already knew, of course, but he was proud of her for opening up to everyone. Isak had commented a thumbs up emoji. Magnus said he was so happy for her.

Scrolling down the long list of supportive comments, she found Vilde’s comment: _So proud of you, girl! Can’t wait to hang out tomorrow. <3_

Eva stared at it in shock. Vilde put hearts at the end of everything, so that part didn’t bother her. It was the fact they would be hanging out at all. So not only had Vilde cut Eva out of her life, but she was replacing her with Ingrid. The very person who caused this whole mess!

She went back to the image and noticed the date. Two days ago. They’d already spent time together. Oh, no. They’d probably spent the whole time bitching about her. She hoped Ingrid hadn’t mentioned that they used to date.

“Oh, yeah, I liked that post,” Even said. “Wait, why do you look so scared?”

“I’m not scared. I’m happy for her, I am. It’s just…” She didn’t know if she could say, if she should say it. “I’m worried people will find out.”

“Find out what?”

“I never dated Jonas. Ingrid is my ex.”

Even’s mouth formed an O. “That makes so much sense. So she cheated on you with Jonas? That definitely complicates things.”

“Tell me about it.”

“There is one thing I’m curious about though,” he said.

“What is it?”

He tapped his chin, as if trying to figure out the best way to word his question. “Why don’t you hate Jonas? He’s the one who stole your girlfriend.”

She gaped, not sure how to answer. “I do hate him.”

“Are you sure about that?”

She thought about it, considering how she felt around him. It wasn’t the same bitterness she felt around Ingrid or even around Isak when she blamed him for choosing Ingrid. With Jonas she felt...inferior. Yeah, that was it. “I guess I don’t really hate him. I just feel like he’s better than me. What chance did I have against him?”

“That’s what I thought. Well, for the record, he isn’t better than you. Not by a longshot. Maybe he’s more suited for Ingrid, but that doesn’t make him better.”

Eva nodded. “I’ll try to keep that in mind.” Keyword: try. She’d never had much confidence in herself.

“She still has feelings for you, you know.”

“No, she doesn’t. She doesn’t give a crap about me anymore.”

“I’m not saying you should get back together with her. I’m just saying that it seems like you’ve been blaming yourself for the break up, for the cheating too. But she does care about you. Maybe that makes it better, maybe that makes it worse. I don’t know. But I think Ingrid was pretty torn about cheating on you and ultimately deciding to leave you. I don’t think she knows if she made the right choice.”

“Why would she make sure I saw the Instagram post?” Eva wondered aloud.

“I think she’s hoping you’ll come out too.”

Just then Maria burst through the doors. “There you two are. Ms. Larsen has been freaking out. You shouldn’t be late to rehearsals this close to production. Come on, get on the stage. We’re running the first proposal scene today.”

…

Eva felt better after rehearsal. She loved the first proposal, and it was only too easy to slip into anger. She could let out her emotions through the character.

Ms. Larsen was very pleased with them, but she still made Eva and Even stay a few minutes later to make up for being late.

Once they were dismissed, Eva ran to find her friends. She hadn’t seen them during rehearsal since they’d been working on different scenes with Eskild and Linn in another room. They even took their breaks at different times.

Eva didn’t see Vilde anywhere, but she found the other girls packing up their bags in the ballet studio.

“Hey,” she said.

They all looked up at her, then went back to packing.

“Look, I’m really sorry about Friday night. I know I shouldn’t have kissed him. I was drunk, and I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“No, you weren’t thinking at all,” Noora said, her voice cold.

“He was just being nice to me, and I—”

“So, you’ll kiss any guy who’s nice to you?”

“No, that’s not what I meant. Penetrator Chris was bothering me. Magnus just stepped in to help keep him away. I didn’t see your texts. If I knew you guys were on the way, I wouldn’t have started drinking with Magnus. I’d much rather spend time with you.”

“Would you?” Sana said. “You’ve been blowing us off for days.”

Chris crossed her arms. “Blowing us off to hook up with the guy Vilde likes is really not cool. She’s the one you should apologize to.”

“And I will, when I find her. Do you know where she is?”

“She didn’t come to school today,” Noora said.

“Why?”

Noora looked at the others, hesitating. “You know she has really low self-esteem. Well, after you kissed Magnus, she and Ingrid went to another party.”

“She hooked up with Ingrid?” Eva asked, shocked. She couldn’t believe it. Ingrid had really gone and cheated on Jonas. She guessed some people never changed.

“No, not Ingrid. But several other people from our school went to this party too. And Vilde, she…” Noora looked like she was about to cry.

“She slept with Penetrator Chris,” Sana finished for her. “And now she’s home feeling ashamed that she sunk so low.”

“Are you saying this is my fault?” Eva asked in disbelief. “I didn’t force her to have sex with anyone. She didn’t even talk to me Friday night. How could I have prevented that?”

Noora frowned. “You’re right. It’s not your fault, but your reaction is all wrong. Do you even care about how Vilde’s feeling right now? You’re so worried about getting us to forgive you, making excuses about why you hurt Vilde. Think about someone else for once.”

Eva watched them leave, her throat dry. Her stomach was in knots. Noora thought she was selfish.

A sudden realization punched Eva in the gut, hard. Her first thought had been about herself, about how the others perceived her. It _was _a selfish thought. This whole time she hadn’t thought about how she’d made Vilde feel, only the fact that Vilde would be angry at her because of what happened. Same with Ingrid coming out. She’d been more worried about people figuring out she used to date Ingrid. Not to mention she’d also been jealous of Ingrid. That she could come out so easily.

But maybe it wasn’t easy for her. Eva always assumed everyone else had it so easy, but Noora’s words made her realize that wasn’t true. She remembered a quote Noora had pasted to her wall: _Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always._

Eva hadn’t been kind lately. She’d been too caught up in her own troubles to consider other people might be struggling too.

Another thought gnawed at her. Even had been so worried about her. He predicted that she would be hungry, that she wouldn’t have showered or changed clothes, that she planned to skip rehearsal. He wouldn’t have known that unless he recognized something in her, something he himself struggled with.

Eva looked around the backstage area for him, but he was already gone. She ran outside. He was nowhere to be seen. Worried, Eva pulled out her phone and called him.

The phone rang five times.

“Hello?”

“Even, where are you?”

“The roof.”

Eva’s heart raced. Oh, no. “Wait there. I’m coming up.”

She hurried up the stairs, around and around until she reached the top. Frantically, she looked around the roof. Her heart was racing so fast. He wouldn’t have jumped, would he?

“You okay?”

Eva spun around to find Even leaning against the brick wall beside the stairs and smoking a joint. “You scared me. Why are you on the roof?”

He held up the joint like it was obvious.

“I thought—”

“I know what you thought,” Even said, “and you wouldn’t be wrong to think that. I don’t feel like jumping today though.”

She sat down next to him. “You feel like jumping sometimes? Are you depressed?”

Even sighed. “I’m bipolar. So sometimes I’m depressed, sometimes I’m manic, and sometimes I feel okay. I feel okay today.”

“Do you have medicine? A psychiatrist?”

He nodded. “I can give you her number if you want. I don’t think you’re bipolar, but you’ve been showing some of the signs for anxiety and depression.”

“That was just because I was upset about what happened with Magnus.”

“Before this weekend, I mean. I’ve always felt we had a lot in common. Getting to know you has just confirmed that. You helped me realize that I have nothing in common with Sonja. I’ve just been holding onto her, as a security blanket. Someone who will always like me, no matter how bad of a day I’m having.”

“You broke up with Sonja?”

“Not yet. But I’m going to.” He looked out at the sky, lost in thought.

Eva leaned against the wall, watching a bird fly across the sky. Bipolar disorder sounded difficult. She couldn’t even imagine what that was like. She’d never felt like killing herself, but she’d felt like she wanted to disappear—or just hide in her room forever.

Maybe a psychiatrist could help her sort out her complicated feelings. She closed her eyes and drifted into a light sleep.


	14. Forgiveness

“Vilde, please let me talk to you,” Eva said, chasing after her.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Vilde said. Noora, Chris, and Sana flanked her like bodyguards.

“Magnus likes you,” Eva spat out. She wasn’t positive, but she hoped it was true. At least it would get Vilde’s attention.

She spun on her heel. “How do you know?”

“He told me. Look, I’m sorry I kissed him at the party. It was really shitty of me, but I was feeling terrible and just wanted someone to comfort me. I should have chosen someone else, anyone else, but Magnus was there. I was feeling bad because I found out Jonas and Ingrid were at the party and I was going to go home, but Magnus convinced me to stay, said they weren’t worth ruining my fun.”

Vilde couldn’t hide her smile. “He’s a really good guy, isn’t he?”

“Yes, he’s great. I really hope you two get to be together. He was so polite when he told me he couldn’t date me because he liked you.”

Vilde blushed, twirling her hair between her fingers. “So he doesn’t like you? Do you like him?”

“No,” Eva said. “I just needed someone to kiss.”

“Is he a good kisser?” Vilde asked.

Noora crossed her arms. “Are you really going to forgive her just like that?”

“Of course,” Vilde said. “She’s sorry. She didn’t do it to hurt me. We’ve all had, uh, kisses we didn’t want when we were feeling vulnerable. I mean, even you, Noora. You kissed Iben at that party Saturday.”

“Iben? Penetrator Chris’s girlfriend?” Eva asked.

Noora turned beet red. “It wasn’t because I liked her. I just thought that would be one way to get back at him. The plan backfired though. He didn’t even get angry. He just sat back and said he’d watch, called all his friends to make it into some show.”

“Yikes. Straight boys are so gross sometimes,” Eva said.

Chris nodded. “That’s why I try to hook up with bi guys. Or pansexual like Kasper, though he turned out to be a dick.”

“Anyways,” Vilde said. “We’ve all had our fair share of shame. I think it’s time to forgive and forget. We really miss you, Eva.”

“Thanks, Vilde. What about you?” Eva looked at Noora. “I know I’ve been selfish lately, but I’m trying to be better now.”

“You’re not doing a very good job of it,” Noora said. “Did you even try to contact Vilde yesterday? Did you do anything at all to help the situation?”

“Well, no, but—”

“Then I don’t need to hear anything else. You want our friendship, but you don’t want to put in any effort. I’m sorry, Eva, but I can’t accept you until you learn how this works.” She turned around and left.

Eva’s heart sank. She’d wanted to reach out to Vilde, but she’d been so afraid of what Vilde would say to her. She knew Vilde slept with Chris to get back at her for kissing Magnus, but it hurt Eva more that Vilde had to suffer through that. She’d lost her virginity to him, and he would no doubt brag about it to his friends. Would Vilde even have a chance with Magnus once word reached him?

But even though all these thoughts were rushing through her head, the thing that hurt her the most had been Noora’s cold gaze. That was one friendship she didn’t want to lose.

“Hey, Eva.”

Eva turned toward the voice, and a fist slammed across her face. Eva grabbed her cheek and staggered back a step. Vilde caught her elbow.

Sonja was standing in front of them, looking absolutely livid. “I know you’re sleeping with Even. You two have been sneaking around behind my back this whole time. He barely replies to my texts anymore, and last night I got a text saying that we’re over.”

Sonja held out her phone displaying the message. Before it were several texts in a row from Sonja, broken up by one lone “OK.”

Eva knew he was planning to break up with her, but yikes. Text wasn’t the way to go. Though Sonja really should have taken the hint...

“I don’t know why you think I’ve been sneaking around with Even, but I promise you that I haven’t,” Eva said firmly. “Maybe he just got tired of you.”

“I have proof,” Sonja said. She clicked through her phone, then showed Eva an Instagram post. It was a picture of Even and Eva on the roof that day after rehearsal. They both had their eyes closed, and she had her head on his shoulder.

“Okay, so we feel asleep together on the roof, but that’s not the same as having sex. It didn’t mean anything.”

“He’s always checking up on you. It’s obvious he likes you, and don’t think I haven’t noticed how much he checks his phone. I know he’s been texting you.”

“He hasn’t, I swear.” The only text Eva had from him was the number of his psychiatrist.

“Show me your phone then,” Sonja said, holding out her hand. “We can straighten this out once and for all.”

Eva clutched her phone tightly. She still had texts between her and Ingrid. Romantic pictures of them in her photo gallery. She couldn’t let Sonja go snooping through her phone. Not even if it would prove she didn’t steal her boyfriend.

“I’m not showing you my personal messages,” Eva said. “Why don’t you just ask him?”

“I don’t need to. Someone saw him walk upstairs at that party Friday night after I left, and you walked up just after him.”

“Because I needed to use the bathroom. I didn’t even run into anyone else upstairs. Maybe he just went there to take a break from everyone.” Though she knew for a fast that wasn’t true.

Sonja shook her head, pursing her lips. “He had sex hair when he came down, and everyone knows you’re a slut.”

Sana threw her drink at Sonja. The root beer doused her white shirt. Two of Sonja’s friends hanging out nearby rushed over. Then it was an all-out fight. Vilde and Chris joined in. A teacher had to break it up.

Eva walked away from the fight feeling glad her friends had stood up for her. They were together again, and it felt amazing. She was curious about who Even had been sneaking around with and texting all the time. She’d definitely heard him with someone at the party, though she wasn’t sure who.

But she didn’t have time to worry about that now. Her first priority was getting Noora to talk to her again.


	15. Mending Bridges

Eva knocked on Noora’s door. Since she wasn’t replying to any of Eva’s texts, she had no choice but to come to her flat Wednesday after school. Eva had brought homemade brownies. They were a little burnt, but it was the effort that counted, right?

No one was answering.

Eva knocked again more frantically. Still nothing. She turned to leave.

“Coming, coming,” came Eskild’s voice. “Sorry, honey, I was in the shower.” The door swung open to reveal Eskild wrapped in a towel. “Oh, you’re not who I was expecting. Eva, what are you doing here?”

“Is Noora there?”

Eskild looked into the room, then back at Eva. “I’m sorry. She’s not feeling well today.”

“I brought brownies,” Eva said, holding up the container. “Maybe they’ll help her feel better. I could just give them to her and—”

Eskild stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind him. “I’m sorry, Eva. Noora doesn’t want to see you today.”

Disappointment washed over Eva. She’d been so sure this would work. Noora loved baked goods, and she’d done something special for her. That proved she wasn’t being selfish anymore. “Can you at least give her the brownies?”

“I could, but I’m going to be honest, I don’t think she’ll eat them. You really need to give her some space.”

“Everyone else has forgiven me for what happened at the party. I don’t understand why she won’t.”

“This isn’t about some dumb thing you did at a party. Be a little more sensitive to her feelings. Now you’ve got to leave. I’m expecting company.” He shooed her away.

On the ride home, Eva pulled out her phone to check her Instagram notifications. She was tagged in two new posts. One was on Vilde’s account, a picture of them all together with the caption: _So happy to have the best friends in the world! #togetheragain #strongerthanever_

The second post was from the evatheslutty account. She was hesitant to click on it, but her curiosity wouldn’t let her close the app.

It was her and Even on the roof, the same picture Sonja had shown her. Below it was the caption: _Watch out for this crazy chick. Serial boyfriend stealer._

Eva removed the tag but not before noticing it had been posted two days. She wondered if Noora had seen it and jumped to the same conclusion Sonja had. Was that why Noora was ignoring her? She thought she’d lied to her all those times she said she didn’t want to date Even?

Either way Eva needed to prove to Noora that she was trying to be a better person, and she had just the idea.

…

Magnus met her after rehearsal on Thursday. He seemed glum today. He’d even forgotten a few of his lines, even though he was one of the first to go completely off book. Eva hoped that meant her guess was correct.

“Do you like Vilde?” Eva asked outright. No sense in making this more complicated than it needed to be.

Magnus’s face turned scarlet. “It’s that obvious?”

“You heard about what happened with Chris, I take it.”

“Yeah,” he said, looking at his feet. “I just can’t believe it. Out of all the people she could have hooked up with.”

“I know. But it isn’t her fault. I did something to upset her, and she wanted to get back at me. Vilde decided sleeping with Chris was a good way to do that.”

“Wait, so he actually slept with her? He wasn’t exaggerating?”

Eva realized she’d stepped on a landmine. Crap, she was just trying to help. Why did she have to make everything worse? “I’m sure he embellished. Vilde felt horrible about it afterwards. That’s why she wasn’t at rehearsal on Monday.”

Magnus nodded. “Yeah, I noticed she skipped school.”

“Look, I know I’ve just been screwing everything up lately, but I hope you’ll listen to me. Please give Vilde another chance. She’s a really sweet girl who deserves someone way better than Chris.”

He tilted his head. “You mean me?”

Eva nodded. “You’re a great guy, Magnus. Any girl would be lucky to have you.”

“Honestly it’s pretty amazing that a girl like you has feelings for me. I keep thinking I must have imagined it, but then I remember the kiss.”

Eva remembered the kiss too. It _was_ very nice. Until the next morning when the sinking regret caught up to her. If Magnus hadn’t been Vilde’s crush… She stopped the thought. No use dwelling on what if’s.

“I think Vilde likes you,” Eva said. “I’m okay with it if you want to ask her out. She’s my friend, and I would be thrilled if she ended up with someone like you. So please, consider giving her another chance.”

He straightened up. “She likes me? Are you sure?”

Eva shrugged. “Why don’t you ask her out and find out for yourself?”

Magnus nodded. “Thanks, Eva. I know this can’t be easy for you. I’ll talk to Vilde tomorrow.”

…

At lunch Eva sat with Chris and Sana. Noora walked over, plate in hand, and sat at their table. She still sat with them every day but completely ignored Eva. It was hard feeling invisible to the person you wanted to see the most.

Chris was saying she thought Kasper had a boyfriend now. He’d been sneaking around more than usual, and he turned down Chris’s invitation to go see a movie Friday night.

“Why are you still bothering with him?” Sana asked.

Noora leaned forward. “Yeah, didn’t you say he was a dick?”

“He is, but most guys are dicks anyways. Besides, he’s a lot of fun.”

“All you do is make out,” Sana pointed out.

“Exactly, fun.”

Just then Vilde bounded over, her face bright. “Girls, girls. I have some news.” She sat at the table and leaned forward. “Magnus asked me out.”

Eva smiled, relieved. He said he would, but she was so worried he’d change his mind. “So, are you two going on a date?”

“Yes!” She was positively glowing. “We’re going to see _Pride and Prejudice and Zombies _next Friday.”

“Not this Friday?”

“Well, it doesn’t come out until next week,” Vilde said, “and that’s the only movie I want to see right now.”

The girls laughed. That was a very Vilde thing to say.

“Anyways, the time of the date didn’t really matter since we’ve agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Why didn’t you lead with that?” Chris said.

“He forgave you for the Penetrator Chris incident?” Noora asked, clearly surprised.

Vilde looked right at Eva. “Yes, he said Eva talked to him about it and that she insisted he give me a chance. Though, he said he wasn’t bothered by the fact I slept with Chris. He just thought it meant I liked Chris and not him, so he wasn’t, like, slut shaming me or anything.”

“That’s pretty rare,” Noora admitted. She still refused to acknowledge Eva’s existence.

Eva was so tempted to go off on her, but she kept quiet. This was Vilde’s moment, her chance to share about her exciting romance.

“And did you hear that Iben finally broke up with Penetrator Chris? At least one good thing came out of that night, right?” Vilde stopped talking to glare over Eva’s shoulder. Oh, no. Was Penetrator Chris bothering them again?

Eva turned around. “Sonja?”

The girl grimaced, not looking too happy to be there. “I need to talk to you alone, Eva.”

“No, not if you’re going to attack her again,” Sana said fiercely.

“I’m not,” Sonja promised. “The teacher wants me to apologize. That’s all this is.” She wrinkled her nose.

“You don’t have to go,” Vilde said.

“I should at least hear her out,” Eva said. She followed Sonja out of the cafeteria and to a secluded bench near the gym.

“So first off I suck at apologies, so don’t expect much,” Sonja said.

“That’s really not the best way to start. Are you actually sorry or are you just saying this because the teacher asked you to?”

Sonja shook her head. “The teacher didn’t ask me to apologize. I lied about that. I do actually want to apologize though. I shouldn’t have attacked you like that.”

“Yeah, you really shouldn’t. If Even cheated on you, you should be blaming him. Not the person he’s cheating with.”

Sonja sighed, staring into the distance. She folded her hands in her lap. “I think I’ve known for a while that things would end between me and Even. I just didn’t want to accept it. When we met during our first year here, everything felt meant to be. I’d been cast in the musical as Rapunzel, and he’d been cast as my prince. We were the couple in the musical who actually loved each other. It was only too easy to fall for him.”

“Wait a moment. You’re talking about _Into the Woods_?” Eva asked.

“Yes. It was a grand production.”

Sonja prattled on about the show, but Eva’s mind was fixed on a conversation she’d had with Eskild a while ago. He’d mentioned that he’d hooked up with the actor who played Rapunzel’s prince at the party on opening night. Did that mean, could Eskild be the person Even was sneaking around with?

If they were together, that would explain all the texts Sonja said Even was sending, and Eskild was always on his phone. And how Eskild had expected someone else at the door when Eva went to visit Noora, and he’d rushed Eva out of there. Almost like he didn’t want her to see who was coming to meet him.

“Eva, are you even listening to me?” Sonja snapped her fingers.

She jolted upright. “Sorry, I was. Yes, continue.”

“What’s the matter with you?”

“It’s nothing. I just, I think I realized who Even is sneaking around with.”

Sonja looked at her expectantly. “Well, who is it?”

“I can’t tell you.”

Sonja rolled her eyes. “So you expect me to believe it’s not you, but you won’t tell me who it is?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t.” Eva was pretty sure Eskild wasn’t supposed to sleep with any of the students. She didn’t want to get him into trouble, and it wasn’t her place to reveal Even’s secret.

“It’s a boy, isn’t it?”

Eva stiffened. “I’m not saying anything.”

“Oh, come on. I know he’s pansexual. It’s that Kasper guy, isn’t it?”

Eva lifted her hands. “You’re not getting anything from me.”

Sonja sighed dramatically. “Fine. I’ll figure it out sooner or later.”

“You believe me?” Eva asked in surprise.

“Yeah, I did some asking around about that party, trying to piece together the timeline. If you did sleep with Even, it was only a few minutes. Maybe you hooked up with him, I don’t know, but you’re definitely not dating him. Besides, he didn’t leave the party until close to two. You were long gone by then.”

“Why did you leave the party early?” Eva asked.

“I get migraines. He called me a cab and said he would take the bus home. Though obviously he just went right back into the party.”

Eva nodded. “So, are we cool?”

Sonja looked at her funny. “I don’t think we’ll ever be cool, but I don’t hate you anymore. We are _not _going to become friends, but I guess I can stop glaring at you between scenes.

Eva laughed. “I’d really appreciate that.”


	16. Secrets and Lies

Costume fittings were on Tuesday. Eva would finally get the chance to be alone with Noora and properly apologize. Hopefully she would listen to her this time.

She brought her second attempt at brownies, much less burnt than the first batch. She thought they’d be a nice treat since Noora was working so hard on the costumes, and she wanted to do something nice for her.

“Glad to see Sonja didn’t kill you,” Noora said when Eva entered the dressing room. She’d eaten lunch with Noora Monday and today, so this comment felt odd to Eva.

“Well, I finally convinced her I’m not dating Even. I still can’t believe she believed that. I mean, can you imagine? Me dating Even?”

“Actually, I can imagine it,” Noora said as she arranged several gowns on a sliding rack. “You two look good together. It’s why you work so well as Darcy and Elizabeth.”

“But I don’t like him. Not like that anyways.”

Noora froze, eyes on her feet. So Eva’s suspicions had been correct. That was why she was ignoring Eva.

“I wouldn’t keep a secret boyfriend from you. Though, I’m kind of surprised this would bother you so much. Don’t you have a secret girlfriend?”

“No,” Noora said, shaking her head. “I just said that to get Vilde to stop trying to set me up with girls. When I lived in Madrid, I fell in love with my best friend, but she was straight. I moved here to get away from all that and try to move on, but it felt like Vilde was rushing me.” Noora shrugged. “Because she felt bad for me, I guess.”

“I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

“I know,” Noora said. “I kept it a secret from you, and I shouldn’t have. I really do want us to be friends, Eva. I’m sorry I made things weird between us and that I’ve been ignoring you. I’m just having a really difficult time right now. And it doesn’t help that tech week is coming up, and I’ve got to make all these costume adjustments, and it’s just a lot, okay?”

Eva nodded, pulling Noora into a hug. “It’s okay, Noora. I’m just glad we’re friends again, and I’d be happy to help any way I can.”

“Thanks, that really means a lot to me.”

…

Eva walked onto the roof, glad for the break. She’d finished her costume fitting, and they wouldn’t be called back until all the main characters had been fitted.

The costume fitting had been a great success. Thankfully most of the dresses had fit her pretty well. Noora only had to make a few adjustments on a couple of the ballgowns. And best of all, Eva and Noora were officially friends again.

A breeze ruffled Eva’s hair and along with it came the distinct smell of weed. She turned the corner to find Isak sitting against the brick wall, joint in hand.

She froze, panicked. He hadn’t spoken to her in over a week, since the party. Was he still pissed at her for kissing Magnus?

“Relax, I’m not mad at you,” Isak said. “Honest. I don’t care that you kissed Magnus.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Everyone’s been making such a big deal over nothing. I’m really glad Vilde and the girls are talking to you again, though. I was worried you would switch schools or something.”

Eva laughed nervously. “Can’t get rid of me that easily. Where’s your partner in crime?”

Isak grimaced. “Where do you think?”

With Ingrid. Of course. Eva thought about going to look for another quiet place, but Isak looked so lonely smoking by himself. “Can I sit?” she asked.

“Be my guest.” Isak gestured to the empty space beside him. He offered Eva the joint as she sat down.

She took one long drag, then passed it back. The air was humid, like it might rain soon, but for now it was peaceful. The sky was a muted blue, clouds stretched across it like cotton candy.

“Sara and I weren’t really dating,” Isak said.

Eva looked at him in surprise. “Then what were you? Sex buddies?”

Isak shook his head, looking panicked and maybe slightly amused. He was so difficult to read. “We were just friends. I couldn’t have who I wanted, so I dated her.”

Eva’s heart pounded. Oh, no. Was this a love confession? Isak was nice and all, but she didn’t want to date him. They worked as friends, that was it.

“Aren’t you going to ask who I wanted?” Isak said. His eyes hadn’t left hers. She felt his gaze, dark and heavy and entirely unwelcome.

“I don’t need to know,” she said, turning away from him. “It’s none of my business.” She tucked her arms around herself and perched on her toes, ready to flee at a moment’s notice.

“I want you to know.”

Eva flinched. She couldn’t help it. How many times would her friendships be ruined by unwelcome crushes? “Is it me?” she asked, barely able to get the words out.

Isak was silent a moment. Eva let the confirmation sink in, disappointment and fear churning through her.

“No.”

Eva straightened up and looked at Isak. He was biting his lip, gaze fixed on his shoelaces. His thoughts weren’t about her after all. The relief washed through her, along with another realization. If it wasn’t her, there was only one other person it could be.

“Jonas?”

Isak gave a small, sad smile. “Yeah.”

Eva nodded. She understood now. For years she’d believed Ingrid would never like her back. She’d dated a lot of assholes to keep her mind off her. When she finally found a nice guy, he still wasn’t Ingrid.

Eva had felt so lucky when Ingrid asked her out, but now with everything that had happened, she wished they’d never dated. Ingrid and Jonas were so in love now. Jonas would never leave Ingrid for Isak, even if he wasn’t straight.

“So, are you bi? Pan? Still figuring it out?” Eva asked.

“Gay,” Isak said softly. “You’re the first person I’ve said that to.”

Eva nodded. “That’s the first step. I’m glad you felt you could trust me. I know we haven’t been in the best place since the whole thing with Ingrid.”

“That mess was never your fault. You know that, right?”

Eva shrugged, not sure what to say. “So Sara doesn’t know you’re gay?”

“No, but she knew I wasn’t into girls.”

“Then why did she date you?”

Isak stared at her for a moment. “You really are out of the loop, huh? Pull up Sara’s Instagram.”

“Wait, is she gay?” Eva asked. She pulled out her phone, typed in Sara’s username, and clicked on her most recent photo. It was similar to Ingrid’s post, except she was holding two flags with four stripes: black, gray, white, and purple.

“Asexual,” Isak said. “We did genuinely try to date before she realized she was ace. It took me a lot longer to figure out about myself. I thought I must be ace too. And aromantic.”

“But you had feelings for Jonas.”

“Yeah, but I denied those were romantic for the longest time. I told myself I was just jealous because he was my best friend. I just liked spending time with him because he was my best friend. All because of friendship.”

“I know what that’s like. My first girl crush was that way too.” She leaned back, watching the birds flying in the sky. It was so relaxing out here. Isak handed her the joint, and she took another hit.

The door swung open, and footsteps sounded on the stairs. Eva quickly passed the joint back to Isak. He tucked it by his side and adjusted his hoodie to cover it.

Even appeared, and they both sighed with relief. “Done with my costume fitting,” he said brightly.

“How did it go?” Eva asked.

“Good.” He sat down across from them. “Can I have some?”

Isak passed the joint to him.

“So, did he tell you?” Even asked, eyes bright.

“Part of it,” Isak mumbled.

Eva looked back and forth between them. “Wait, you said I was the first person you told? You told Even too?” She didn’t even know they talked outside of the play.

“You were the first person I actually said the word ‘gay’ to. That’s what I meant.”

“Oh?” Even said, turning to Isak. “You’re gay? What a relief.”

Isak laughed.

“Wait, what’s so funny?” Eva asked, completely lost.

Even reached over to hold Isak’s hand. “We’re dating.”

“You two? But I thought…”

Isak’s phone rang. He answered it, said a few okays, and hung up. “It’s my turn for costume fittings. I’ll see you later.” He stood up and rounded the corner, his footsteps sounding on the stairs.

Even scooted over to sit next to her while the door swung shut. He put out the joint on the concrete and tucked it into his pocket. “Why are you so surprised?” he asked. “Because you thought I was straight?”

“Actually, I didn’t. I knew you were secretly dating someone, but I thought it was Eskild.”

His eyes went wide. “What gave you that idea?”

“He mentioned something about the guy who played Rapunzel’s prince in the school’s production of _Into the Woods._”

Even was giving her a blank look. “Mentioned what?”

“You know, that you guys had fun at the party on opening night.”

“Oh, that wasn’t me. I didn’t play Rapunzel’s prince opening night, or any night for that one. I had a manic episode the week before, so I was in the hospital. My understudy took over for me. What did Eskild say he did with him?”

“He said he slept with him.”

“Seriously? Eskild hooked up with Chris?”

“Which Chris?” One that graduated already? It was a common enough name.

“Christoffer Schistad. He was Wickham before Isak replaced him.”

Eva’s eyes went wide. “Penetrator Chris slept with Eskild?”

“I think the question is, was he really Penetrator Chris that night?” Even said, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

“Great, thanks. I really needed that mental image.” Eva laughed.

The laughter faded from Even’s eyes. “So, Eva, are you okay with me and Isak? I’m worried you think I’m a bad guy. Because I cheated on Sonja.”

Eva had been thinking about that. It did bother her a bit. She felt so bad for Sonja. “Why did you do it?”

“It was easier, I suppose,” Even said. “I know that doesn’t excuse what I did. I never wanted to go behind her back, but like I told you before, I hung onto my security blanket. Just in case things didn’t work out with Isak.”

She felt sick to her stomach. “I don’t understand how people can pretend to be in love with someone after their feelings have changed. It’s cruel.”

He sighed, burying his hands in his pockets. “It was cruel and most of all selfish. I could blame it on the depression, say I was feeling too bad to consider her feelings, but that would be a lie. I knew what I was doing. It felt wrong, but Isak felt so right. When I was with Sonja, I thought all couples fought like we did. It was the only relationship I knew. I couldn’t know that we didn’t fit until I met someone who did. Does that make sense?”

Eva shrugged, biting her nails. She supposed it made sense, in a way. It still wasn’t great, but maybe there was something to that.

“Let me ask you something, Eva. Think back to when you were dating Ingrid. Think about the closeness you felt and how well she understood you. Can you think of anyone else who understands you?”

Noora. Even. Isak. Vilde. Sana. Chris. Maybe even Eskild, though they weren’t close. Magnus too. He just seemed to get her. All of them got things about her that Ingrid never seemed to grasp.

“Ingrid and I never really fit together, did we?”

“Maybe you did at the time, but people change. People grow apart. And it isn’t your fault or hers. It just happens. She recognized it happening a lot sooner than you did, that’s all.”

“Thanks, Even. That actually helps a lot.” Eva smiled. “And I’m really happy for you and Isak.”

“Yeah, I’m really happy too.”


	17. The Last Apology

Eva had apologized to most of the important people in her life, but there was one person she hadn’t spoken to yet. She’d been avoiding it, dreading it. But it was finally time to face her fears.

She decided to do it Thursday after rehearsal.

Ingrid stood surrounded by people, Sara and Jonas included, while her friends packed up their belongings. It was enough to make Eva want to turn around and run, but she forced herself to walk over to her.

“Ingrid, I need to talk to you,” Eva said. Jonas was glaring at her, but she didn’t shrink away. “Please, Ingrid. It’s important.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Ingrid said.

“I liked your Instagram post. I’m really proud of you.” Eva felt so awkward, but she needed Ingrid to know this conversation wasn’t going to be an attack.

“Proud of me?” Ingrid asked, her voice going unexpectedly high. She grimaced. “I would have come out a while ago if you hadn’t discouraged me.”

“What?”

Ingrid huffed, rolling her eyes. “Fine, we can talk. I have quite a lot to say as it turns out.”

Now Eva was dreading this conversation even more. She didn’t come here to be attacked, but this was the only way to talk to Ingrid. They went into an empty dressing room, and Ingrid locked the door.

“Whatever I did, I’m sorry,” Eva said hurriedly.

Ingrid shook her head. “No, you can’t apologize if you don’t even remember what you did. Every time I asked you about coming out, you went on and on about all the reasons it was a horrible idea.”

“Horrible for me to come out. It was never about you.”

“But you didn’t want me to come out because you thought people would realize we were dating. You told me that to my face.”

“I said it would be easier for me if you waited. I wasn’t forcing you.”

“No, but then you told me that if I came out, we couldn’t be friends anymore.”

“I never said that,” Eva argued.

“You did. You said we would have to sneak around to see each other but avoid being seen in public together.”

Eva felt the color drain from her face. “That didn’t mean we had to stop hanging out publicly. I just meant, I don’t even know what I meant exactly. I got scared, okay? I’m really sorry if it seemed like I didn’t want to be with you. That isn’t what I meant at all.”

“I know you didn’t mean it, Eva, but it still hurt. You’ve said a lot of things that have hurt me. And it’s not entirely your fault. I come across confident, and I hide it when people say things that hurt me. I act like nothing fazes me, but it all affects me. I take everything personally.”

“No, because that would make you like me. And you’re so much better than me. You always have been.”

Ingrid shook her head. “That right there. That is a lie you keep telling yourself. I’ve never been better than you, Eva, but I knew that you looked up to me. I tried to be perfect for you. I put myself through ridiculously unhealthy diets, woke up two hours before school every day so my hair and makeup would be perfect. I worked out even after I twisted my ankle. I did everything to please you, and it felt like you never noticed at all.”

Eva swallowed. She hadn’t noticed any of that.

“We never communicated, Eva, because it felt like you never listened to me. I’ve been seeing a therapist for a few months now, and I’ve worked out that a lot of what happened was my fault. I’m a perfectionist. I sought your approval and reacted badly when you didn’t give it to me. I became bitter around you and beat up myself for not being able to please you. And my moods would swing and I would snap at you. It’s been a really tough year, Eva.”

“What’s going on? Are you bipolar?” It sounded similar to how Even had described his mental illness.

Ingrid laughed, tears rolling down her cheeks. “No. I have borderline personality disorder, Eva. I’m terrified. Medicine only does so much. Therapy is what has helped the most. The first time I cheated on you was during one of my weird mood swings. It wasn’t supposed to mean anything, but I found something in Jonas that I never had in you.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I was dating you, I always compared myself to you. I was never as pretty as you, never had that effortless beauty. I couldn’t help but fish for compliments, and I could tell it would annoy you, but I couldn’t stop. I always needed validation from you.”

“But you don’t get like that with Jonas?”

“I do sometimes. When we’re at a party with a bunch of beautiful girls, or when I’m just having a particularly bad day. But he’s been patient with me, and he compliments me a lot. I’ve made an effort to be open with him. He knows how I am, and he’s willing to put in the extra effort.”

“If you’re so happy with Jonas, why have you been so mean to me? I lost all my friends because of you.”

Ingrid bit her lip. “I’m sorry. I just, I just wanted to stop seeing you everywhere. I think I’m still in love with you. So it hurts to see you and think about what might have been, even though I know things are good now. I still wonder about the what if’s. What if I had told you what was going on sooner? What if you’d been okay with me? What if you’d been willing to make the effort?”

“I would have,” Eva assured her.

“Maybe, but you were going through your own things then. It was hard to reach out to you while you were so focused on yourself. I think in ways we were too similar. Both too insecure. Both afraid to talk about the hard stuff. You were really distant. I'd go days without hearing from you. I could tell you weren't doing well, but you wouldn't let me in. Not to help, not even to just talk. You shut me out first.”

“I told you before, when I get really anxious, I just need some alone time.”

“I know,” Ingrid said. “The problem was, I was doing the same thing. And with us both needing alone time at different times, we didn’t spend enough time together. It was lonely for both of us.”

“Yeah, it was…”

Ingrid sighed. “Well, I think I’ve said everything I wanted to say. Things have been unresolved between us for a while.”

“I’m glad we got to talk. Sorry that I made you feel like you couldn’t come out. And I’m really sorry about, well, everything else. I was your best friend before we dated. I should have been more aware of your feelings.”

“Dating adds a lot of pressure to a friendship. It changes the dynamic. For us, it changed for the worse. I’m sorry I cheated on you. You didn’t deserve it, and I hope you know that it wasn’t about you. I didn’t cheat on you because I didn’t love you anymore.”

“You cheated on me because you loved me too much.”

“I loved you too much, and it was destroying me.”

Eva left the room feeling lighter than she had in months. A great weight was gone from her shoulders. She knew her heart would ache sometimes at the thought of Ingrid, but it wasn’t a constant pressure anymore. She couldn’t change the past, but knowing the details would help her avoid the same mistakes in the future.

Maybe she was finally ready to date again.


	18. Miss Darcy

Tech week was absolute chaos. Both cast and crew members had a million things to do. Tensions were high around set. They spent three days on lighting alone.

Though Eva had made up with Noora, she barely saw her. Noora was constantly making adjustments on costumes that broke during rehearsal. The dance scenes were the worst. They hadn’t practiced the dances with the dresses before. Girls kept tripping on their skirts. Kasper managed to step on Eva’s skirt during their dance. The sound of fabric ripping would haunt her in her dreams.

Noora miraculously repaired the skirt by the next day. She spent her mornings and lunches working on costume adjustments. Eva only saw her during rehearsals and the few minutes afterwards while everyone was packing up.

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” Eva asked her. “This seems like a lot for one person.”

Noora smiled, but it was strained. “It’s okay. A couple of the crew members volunteered to help out with some of the alterations. I’ve got it, Eva. Don’t worry about me.”

She nodded, watching Noora as she rushed off to talk to someone else about their costume.

Eva still felt like her romantic scenes with Even needed more work, but she was hesitant to ask him to practice after rehearsal. He seemed pretty stressed out himself. She didn’t want to give him extra work.

It was such a busy week that Eva was relieved once it was time for the dress rehearsal on Thursday. They would run through the whole play twice. In costume. With all the lighting and sound. Set changes in between scenes. Everything.

Eva was amazed to see all the different sections working together. It felt so different from an ordinary rehearsal. It was starting to sink in that she’d be performing this in front of dozens of people tomorrow evening. They would get to share this project they’d worked on together for the past two months.

It was ten o’clock at night when Ms. Larsen finally dismissed them.

Noora bumped Eva’s shoulder playfully. “How are you holding up?”

“Tired,” Eva said. “But good. Mostly. I’m still a little worried about the second proposal scene. It’s a lot better than it was, but it still doesn’t feel genuine.”

“Let’s work on it then.”

“But it’s late. Don’t we need to head home?”

Noora shook her head. “Ms. Larsen’s been letting me stay late to work on the costumes.” She dug into her pocket and pulled out a key.

“You are incredible.”

…

They headed over to the dressing room. Noora hung up the costumes she still need to alter. A few buttons had popped off during costume changes. Eva and Noora were both still wearing their costumes.

“Should I change?” Eva asked.

“No, keep it on. It’ll help you get into character.”

Noora tugged at a black suit hanging from the rack. “Should I wear Isak’s costume?”

Eva laughed, shaking her head. “No, it’s fine. Just keep on your Georgiana dress. At least you’re still a Darcy in that.” She handed Noora the script, but Noora shook her head.

“Ms. Larsen has gone over this scene so many times, I’m pretty sure I know it by heart. Not that I’m blaming you or anything. It is a difficult scene, Eva. Don’t feel bad about it.”

“Let’s run it from the top,” Eva said, eager to get started.

“Sounds good.”

Eva took her position next to Noora, and they walked very slowly in a circle around the room. “Mr. Darcy, I am a very selfish creature; and, for the sake of giving relief to my own feelings, care not how much I may be wounding yours.”

The scene continued rather effortlessly until Noora spoke Darcy’s iconic line. “If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever.”

Eva’s heart raced. She felt her cheeks warm, and all at once the scene felt too real. She imagined what it would be like for Noora to say those words to her in earnest. “My feelings have changed so completely that I do find myself with no choice but to accept you wholeheartedly.” She grabbed Noora’s hands and looked into her eyes, wishing they could be together more than anything.

They weren’t supposed to be looking at each other during this part, but Eva couldn’t take her eyes off Noora. She was gorgeous in that pale pink gown, her hair tied up, a few curled strands brushing her cheeks.

Eva couldn’t fight these feelings any longer. She needed to do something, even if it meant Noora would reject her. She ran her fingers down the intricate lacing at the back of Noora’s dress. She felt Noora shiver beneath her touch.

“Is something wrong with the lacing?” Noora asked.

“No,” Eva said. “It’s perfect. You did an amazing job on these costumes. You’re incredible, Noora. I, I don’t really know how to say this, but I like you.”

“Like me? As in romantically?”

Eva bit her lip, embarrassment catching up to her. Her cheeks felt like they were on fire. “Yes. I’m bi.”

Noora put a hand to her chest, stepping back. She seemed to be having trouble breathing.

“Is the costume too tight?” Eva asked, worried. “I’ll help you loosen the lacing.”

Noora shook her head, laughing. “No, Eva. The dress is fine. I’m just so surprised. I thought that I was having another pointless crush. I tried so hard to stop liking you.”

“So, you like me?” Eva asked, her heart racing. She yearned for it to be true but still worried she’d misunderstood.

“Of course I like you. I wouldn’t stay after hours working on lines with just anyone. When we went fabric shopping, I brought you to that ice cream parlor to see if there was any possibility you might like me. But you started acting weird, and I thought for sure there was no hope.”

“I didn’t think someone as great as you would ever like me.”

“I’m not as perfect as you seem to think. You’re the amazing one, Eva.”

Noora wrapped her fingers through Eva’s hair, and Eva wrapped her hands around Noora’s waist. They kissed each other. Noora’s lips were soft and gentle. It was everything Eva could have dreamed of and more.

She trailed kisses down Noora’s neck while Noora felt for the lacing on the back of Eva’s dress. “Not here,” Eva said, stopping her.

Noora nodded, taking a step back. “You’re right. If we’re caught, we could get in trouble. But tomorrow night after the play, why don’t you come over to my place?”

Eva’s heart skipped a beat. “Yeah, that sounds great. So, um, want to finish rehearsing the scene.”

Noora beamed. “It would be my honor.”


	19. Opening Night

Eva was giddy with excitement waiting for the curtain to open for their first performance. She’d never felt more ready. Her mother had even taken the time out of her busy schedule to come watch.

Ten minutes before the performance, Ms. Larsen had them form an energy circle, holding hands like they had the first day of rehearsal. It really felt amazing, like they’d come full circle. They were all doing this together.

Noora caught her eye and gave her a wonderful smile. It was all Eva needed to feel confident again. She knew the feeling she needed to portray on stage during the romantic scenes with Darcy. All she’d needed to do was think of those nice moments with Noora, and anyone would believe she was in love.

The music started, and the curtains slid apart.

The audience laughed and clapped in all the right places. A few actors messed up some lines, and the lighting was a little late in one scene, but all in all, the show came together well. They all did a phenomenal job. The most important thing was the overall feelings of the scenes. Eva and Even absolutely nailed the romantic scenes.

Ms. Larsen looked so proud of them once the curtain closed after the final scene. All the cast gathered on the stage to hold hands and bow once the curtain opened again. Eva was grinning ear to ear. She was so pleased with everyone, and it felt like she was part of this family. She’d miss the third years next year.

She couldn’t wait to audition for the next one.

...

After the performance, the girls went to Eva’s house to prepare for the after party. They wanted to change into something a little sexier and less fancy than their after performance clothes. Ms. Larsen had wanted them to look professional as they mingled with the crowd after the performance.

Chris, Vilde, and Sana crowded into her bathroom to do their makeup, while Eva and Noora changed in her bedroom.

Eva traded out her long black dress for a short one. She chose flats over heels since her feet hurt a lot from the performance.

“How’s this?” Noora asked. She was wearing those high-waisted black pants again with some nice wedge black boots. She’d paired it with a sleeveless sparkly pink shirt.

“Hot,” Eva said, and she meant it.

“Why thank you.” Noora adjusted her hair in the mirror, then slid a rainbow bracelet onto her wrist. “Oh, do you want one?”

“Already got one.” Eva pulled the bracelet from her bag and slipped it onto her wrist. A woven bracelet in pink, purple, and blue threads, the colors of the bisexual flag. “I’ve had it forever, but I’ve never had the courage to wear it before.”

Noora reached out for her hand. “It’s beautiful, Eva.” She took Eva’s hands in hers and kissed her wrist.

“I knew it!” Vilde squealed.

Noora and Eva turned to find the girls all standing in the doorway. Eva had no idea how long they’d been there. Her face warmed.

“I told Noora you would say yes,” Vilde said.

“Actually she asked me out,” Noora said.

“No way,” Chris said. “That’s amazing.”

Sana smiled. “I’m really happy for you two.”

Eva gave Noora a look. “You’re telling me they all knew you had a crush on me.”

Noora shrugged, smiling. “I am terrible at keeping secrets. Vilde figured it out pretty quickly.”

“So this isn’t weird?” Eva asked. “You don’t mind that the two of us are dating?”

“Not at all,” Vilde said, adjusting her white-and-black dress. “We just want both of you to be happy. And I can’t wait till we can go on double dates together. Oh, wait. Are you guys going public or keeping it a secret?”

“Public,” Eva said. “I’ve done the secret thing before, and it’s exhausting. Besides, I’m ready to show off my amazing girlfriend.”

“What was that?” Eva’s mom had appeared at the doorway.

Eva used the opportunity to introduce Noora to her mom.

“Oh, you and Ingrid broke up? Is that why you’ve been so sad lately? Well, good luck to both of you. I’m sorry to cut this short, but I have a flight to catch. It was lovely to meet you, Noora. We’ll have to have you over for dinner sometime.”

Once Eva’s mom left the room, the girls turned to gape at her.

“You dated Ingrid _and_ Jonas?” Vilde asked, shocked.

“No, just Ingrid,” Eva said.

“Oh, so she cheated on you with Jonas. That’s pretty terrible of her. If I’d known that, I wouldn’t have tried to become friends with her.”

“It’s okay,” Eva said, realizing she meant it. “I’ve forgiven her for what happened. She’s not a bad person.”

Noora wrapped her arm around Eva’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s head to this party. Something tells me it’ll be the best one yet.”

…

The official cast party wouldn’t be until closing night, and that would be held in the school cafeteria. This, however, was a student-led event. Sonja was hosting the party at her house.

Eva was amazed by how big the house was. She followed the others into the main room of the party. It was an open space indoors with glass walls on two sides. Sonja even had a pool just outside. People were already swimming in it and tossing a large beach ball around.

Sonja came up to hug all of them. “Thanks so much for coming. You all did great tonight.”

Stunned, Eva took a step backwards. “Um, who are you and what have you done with Sonja?”

“The performance was so good, Eva. You were beautiful as Elizabeth. I had my doubts about you, but you pulled it together in time for opening night. I’m so proud of you.”

Eva smiled. “Thanks.”

It was then Sonja noticed she was holding Noora’s hand. “Oh, are you two…?”

“Yeah,” Eva said. “We’re together.”

Sonja gave her a genuine smile. “I’m really happy for you. Please, make yourself at home. There’s plenty of food, and you’re welcome to dance. I’ll be around. So much to do.”

The girls laughed as she scurried off. She had certainly changed her tune. It was very refreshing.

At the food table, Eva ran into Isak, who was piling his plate up high with snacks.

“What, I haven’t eaten all day,” he said defensively.

Eva laughed, brushing her hair behind her ear. “Me either.”

“That’s new,” Isak commented, nodding at her bracelet. He was grinning. “Does this mean what I think it means?”

Eva glanced over at Noora, who was talking with some of the other crew members. “I’m dating Noora now.”

“Even totally called it,” he said.

“Are you and him still keeping it secret?”

“Yeah. I’m not ready to tell anyone yet, but I am really happy you’re ready to be open about it. I know it’s not easy.”

“It gets easier when you surround yourself with supportive people.”

Noora and Eva sat at a couch, and Noora wrapped her arm around Eva while she scarfed down some food. She’d barely eaten anything all day since she’d been stressing about the performance.

Everyone in the cast was so lovely about their relationship. Maria and Markus took credit for bringing them together since they invited Eva to the party where she met Noora. They were totally like proud parents. It was really adorable.

Then Noora and Eva went to the dance floor for a slow song. They kissed a little during the dance, but they were saving the making out for later. Vilde and Magnus were dancing nearby too. Ingrid, who was dancing with Jonas, smiled at her, a silent sign of approval.

A confetti cannon went off and the sparkling confetti rained down on them. Eva felt so happy, warm, and safe. She’d come a long way to get here, but she was happy she’d made the journey. It was better than staying in her room and hiding forever.

She’d never have known how great life could feel.

Exams would probably take away this great feeling, but she would enjoy it while it lasted. Besides, the support group she’d built would be invaluable when things got tough again. She’d made an appointment with Even’s psychiatrist. She wanted to do everything she could to feel good about herself. She didn’t want her happiness to be based entirely on who she was dating. It wasn’t healthy.

“We should go see _Pride and Prejudice and Zombies_ this weekend,” Noora said as they rocked side to side. “Vilde said it was really good, and if you get scared, I’ll be happy to comfort you.” She grinned.

Eva smirked. “You obviously don’t know me that well. I love zombie movies. I’ll be the one comforting you.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” Noora said, leaning her forehead against Eva’s. “Will you protect me, Elizabeth Bennet?”

Eva laughed. “I’m pretty sure you can protect yourself, but I’d be happy to fight zombies with you, Miss Georgiana Darcy.”

“Kind of funny, isn’t it? Elizabeth ended up with Darcy after all. Just not the Darcy the cast expected.”

Eva kissed her, soft and sweet. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find me on tumblr @engel-beekman ♥


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